The steadfastness of generations of nobility
shows in the curving lines that form the eyebrows.
And the blue eyes still show traces of childhood fears
and of humility here and there, not of a servant's,
yet of one who serves obediantly, and of a woman.
The mouth formed as a mouth, large and accurate,
not given to long phrases, but to express
persuasively what is right. The forehead without guile
and favoring the shadows of quiet downward gazing.

This, as a coherent whole, only casually observed;
never as yet tried in suffering or succeeding,
held together for an enduring fulfillment,
yet so as if for times to come, out of these scattered things,
something serious and lasting were being planned.

--Rainer Maria Rilke

in my worst moments
my mind has seen life
                                           (and all its entanglements)
as a game



an unfriendly game
taken seriously and
personally

 

 

                                (a constant encounter

                                                                          across the gap

                                       between mind and

                                                                                        ?
                                                                                            something
                                                                                            I feel too

                                                        distracted
                                             to get a firm grip
                                                                              on
                                                                                            whatever
                                                                                            it
                                                                                            is
                                                                                                           )


survival is
an occupying experience


                                           (even when)


to survive is
to lose
to lose myself and
to lose the game which has been in motion
since well before I became

:

 

                    to be         the greatest self
                    to find       charity
                    through that which I create
                    to find       modesty
                    through that which I nurture
                    to try         to leave
          small            wet               echoes          worth

 



remembering

 

 

September, 2014

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