David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen step onstage, both wearing Angus Young's cast-off schoolboy uniforms. Roth swaggers up to the microphone and begins to sing:

I skip my classes like there's no tomorrow
and all I've passed, I had to cheat
Won't read no Melville nor no Doct'row
Yeaah, I'm even ... flunking P.E.!

Oooh, yee-eah!
Runnin' with a pencil!
Runnin' with a pencil!

I found that simple math ain't so simple
When you get that algebra load
I got no clue, lost my old textbook
Ain't got no tutor waitin' at home

Ah, maaan!
Runnin' with a pencil!
(The dog ate my homework. You know I ain't lyin'!)
Runnin' with a pencil!
(Detention? Who, me?)

Van Halen breaks into a frenzied kazoo solo

I found that simple math ain't so simple
When you get to algebra, lord!
I got no clue, dumped my old textbook
Ain't got no tutor waitin' at home

Wooo! Yeah!
Runnin' with a pencil!
Runnin' with a pencil!

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