This node is written in honor of various rabble-rousing publications that, in the past, have proffered suggestions on how to best screw with The Man. It also is meant to emphasize a completely personal peeve that I have regarding the intrusion of Big Brother into far too many aspects of my American life.

Social Security Numbers. Your serial number. Your ID Code. Your asset tag. Whatever. The U.S. Government, through the prima facie motive of being able to provide for you in time of need, has (in the process) created a mechanism by which any organization, good, evil, or completely venal, can uniquely identify you. This makes the Men In Black File Clerk's job so much easier! Furthermore, there is almost no way (other than being foreign, and even then they getcha with a Taxpayer I.D. Number) to escape its evil clutches. Want to go to college? Fork over your serial number. Want a bank account? Ditto. Want to simply receive medical care, even if paying with cash? Bend over for the Big Hot Iron Stamp, please.

So what can we do?

As suggested by several publications, prophets and pundits, I endeavor to jam the system whenever possible. Join me! It's fun! Next time someone asks you for your SSN for what you perceive to be no good reason (like, say, those supermarket discount cards that track your capitalist participation track record) then smile sweetly...

...and give them Richard Nixon's. It's 567-68-0515.

For many years, around the time he went to college, my brother was in the habit of using Richard Nixon's SSN on any and all paperwork that asked for one. The downside to this is that my brother now has no chance of retrieving money from the feds. However, on the brighter side, he also has very little paper history, so embezzling an assload of money and escaping to the Caymans is still an option.

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