Well, if it suits you, it should certainly suit the rest of us.

It really breaks my heart to see people doing things differently than I do. What fools they are! They're ruining their lives, and they don't even seem to care.

Take for example this freak at my last job who drank Pepsi.

Every day, I used to tell him, "For God's sake, drink Dr. Pepper! Think of the children!" He never listened, not once. He just told me (if you can believe this) that he "liked" Pepsi. He was so unwilling to straighten his life out that I finally had to resort to intervention. I went right up to him and tore that can of Pepsi right out of his hand, and gave him a nice refreshing can of Dr. Pepper instead. Did he thank me? No. He did not thank me. He was in deep denial, and he "acted out" in a really shameful manner, because that was the only way he could avoid facing his problems. I considered him a friend, though, and I did what I had to. I held him down and kept on intervening. I wasn't going to let him hide behind his defense mechanisms, oh no! Not me! I'm a decent and generous person, and I often feel that I was put on this Earth to help people. I had to do what I had to do. That's just the kind of man I am. I can't stand to see people hurting themselves like that. It tears me up inside.

So. There we were, wrestling on the floor, with his chair knocked thataway and the two soda cans rolling away on the carpet. I got him in a full Nelson with my knee in the small of his back, and now that he was immobilized I was all ready to start trying to break through that wall of denial he'd built up.

That's when Security arrived. Security doesn't give a damn about people. They couldn't care less if my poor friend went on drinking Pepsi every day for the rest of his life! Gallons of Pepsi! A goddamn ocean of Pepsi rotting his teeth and poisoning his very essence!

It's all the same to Security.

But you know what? Where I am now I've got a lot of time to think, to contemplate my mistakes and try to figure out where I went wrong, and that's a good thing. It's something I've needed for a long time, if you don't mind my being honest. And I can see that I went about it the wrong way. It's not that I lacked compassion, but there are simply too many people in this world drinking Pepsi and using mice for me to accomplish anything by going around and intervening with each one, piecemeal. I could work on that for the rest of my life, and how many people would I really save? Not many at all, when you sit down and do the math. Not many at all.

So as soon as they let me out of here, I'll be getting serious about my Mission. I'm not going to waste my time wrestling co-workers to the floor, however desperately they may need my help. I'm going straight to the source.

You can run, Pepsico, but you can't hide.

Many people do this until they discover how much faster they can work by using the keyboard instead. When using Windows these tips may be useful:

  • Alt + Tab to change active window; Don't click on the taskbar.
  • Alt to activate the menus
  • Arrows to move around the menus
  • Space or Enter to click
  • Win or Ctrl + Esc to open the start menu
  • Win + R to open a run window;
  • Type the name of the program
  • Win + E to open Explorer
  • Type a http://www.awebsite.com in to the run window to load your default browsers to that page
  • Type mailto:anemail@address.com to fire up your default email client with an address already inserted

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