This is the main library for the University of Chicago. It was named after John Regenstein, the man who invented windowed envelopes. No kidding. The building is ever-so-slightly more radioactive than normal, almost certainly due to its placement over the former location of Stagg Field, under which the first ever man-made self-sustaining nuclear reaction was secretly created by Enrico Fermi.

There so many books housed within the Regenstein Library that it sinks by approximately one inch every year. With the introduction of new books, the library is estimated to be filled completely by the year 2015. It is the opinion of this author that the university should simply allow the thing to sink below ground after that and build a new library on top of the gaping hole it will have left.

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