Programmers often have to have meetings with non-technical people. This may include managers, end users, marketing, or others. To best communicate with these people a rift has grown between what is said by a programmer and what he really means. Some examples are below.
A
Number Of
Different Approaches Are Being Tried
We're still guessing.
An
Extensive Report Is Being Prepared For A Fresh
Approach To The
Problem
We just hired three kids right out of college.
Close Project Coordination
We know who to blame.
A
Major Technological Breakthrough
It works okay, but looks very high tech.
Customer Satisfaction Is Assured On Delivery
We are so far behind schedule the customer will be happy to get it at all.
Preliminary Operational Tests Were Inconclusive
The thing blew up when we ran it.
Test Results Were Extremely Gratifying
We're surprised the stupid thing works.
The
Entire Concept Will Have To Be Abandoned
The only person who understood the thing quit.
It's Still In
Process
It's so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is hopeless.
We'll Look Into It
Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
Please Read And
Initial
Let's spread responsibility around for the screw up.
Give Us The
Benefit Of Your Thinking
We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.
Give Us Your Interpretation
I can't wait to hear this BS.
See Me, Let's Discuss It
Come into my office, I'm lonely.
All New
Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
Years Of
Development
One finally worked.
Energy Saving
Savings are achieved when the power switch is off.
Low Maintenance
Impossible to fix if broken.