My first girlfriend bought me a tie,
to go with the suit I wore to a nice restaurant.
I spilled spaghetti sauce on it.
My first wife got me a fancy pair of sunglasses
I had them on every day we spent at the beach,
until I left them on the roof of the car one afternoon.
After my divorce, my first child purchased me a nice camera.
We spent hours taking photos of peoples and buildings.
When she moved away I lost interest.
Last week my granddaughter bought me something really useful:
a pill organizer,
to help me keep track of the medicines I don't take.