• cat haters
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• You say "the internet" but you mean "the world wide web"
• Thinking you know more about computers than the tech you just called
• What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• Right-wing doesn't automatically mean racist
• On reading letters that bitch about scantily-clad models on magazine covers
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• Too many people say "I love you" when they mean "I like you"
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• play dumb
• Too many people say nothing when they mean "I love you"
• What people talk about when they can't think of anything to talk about
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• The problem with people who think life is inexpressibly beautiful is that they so often try to express it anyway
• The bored who complain
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• Inability to decide on what your morals and values should be
• Who cares about a bunch of people in Austria
• People who get worked up about misspelling Colombia
• If you complain about the content of the news, you are deluded about its purpose
• people do, on the whole, have the right to be who they want to be
• Expecting your wedding to be the happiest day of your life
• People who argue, using terms they refuse to define
• It's hard to know what to say when a friend's parent they always hated suddenly dies
• Dead links in writeups
• People who don't capitalize their I's
• Things people put up their butts
• What Italian guys are really talking about when they say "Ey Oh"
• Capitalize, please
• Flaunting your sexuality
• Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• Rednecks hating Canada
• People who think they have to double-click everything
• Reading ahead in comic calendars
• Black People Hate Me and They Hate My Glasses
• The other people who hate war
• We all love movies and books about us owning ourselves
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Men who are willing to listen to women talk about their periods
• They say all you need is love, but chocolate doesn't hurt either.
• Know your pets
• Supporting your views on modern social dynamics by citing anthropology
• When people say "All-American", they seldom mean me.
• Snatched away, like the Lindberg baby, who everyone talked about, which explains my lifelong fear of ladders.
• Parents who force their children to eat when they're not hungry
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• So says the preacher man, but... I don't go by what he says
• People are disposable cameras meant to capture experiences
• Are all male catlovers gay?
• When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.
• Writers don't look for their big breaks. They write them.
• They who monitor the Internet
• Butterflies are passive aggressive and put their problems on the shelf, but they're beautiful
• Ever seen two people talking to each other in their sleep?
• To people who drag little kids to see "Fantasia"
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)
• There is not much new to say about snow, or about broken love
• A joke about dealing with people
• Paper, rock, scissors. They all have their pros and cons.
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• Using a command line
• There's nothing more annoying than to try to rebel against someone who's totally supportive about whatever you want to do
• people who wear camo
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• An introduction to my inside selves as they say goodbye
• I may be a trenchie bitch, but you forget we wear combat boots!
• Scientist hits head on curb joke
• girls who like to see their grandmother fight
• What to do if you earn a lot but hate your job
• Women who don't realize they're pregnant until they give birth
• I know it's stealing, but sometimes someone else can say it better than you ever can.
• You can say the train isn't real but it's still going to sting like a son of a b
• The fire behind their eyes died slowly and silently until nothing but the shells remained
• The people who matter most to me are the ones who make me laugh
• What I hate about working on code with others
• Famous people who can run a marathon
• What loan words say about a society
• Professors who have contempt for their students
• But who codes the coders?
• to that end they offer you their bare bellies. pick up the knife.
• Why people who get the wrong number make it out to be your fault
• Two people who are not touching
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• Lincoln advises a friend who is nervous about marriage, January 30, 1842
• They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
• Who i think about when i dont want to smile
• Scientists who have genetically designed their children for superior 'fros
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• Our hearts were hard, but they were warm
• She hated the screen porch, but she loved the heat
• Men are designed to be good hunters, but it's women who are born killers
• And then they came for me, but the bridge would not ignite.
• Only the devil would play the same five songs over and over
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• Type A blood
• Love isn't about fixing people
• Pokemon evolution isn't evolution
• The People Who Bring You Magic
• Why do people vote against their interests?
• Who says discount card profiling isn't fun?
• Envy is a bitch who smiles and blows smokerings
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• Claiming to think of an individual of the opposite sex as a sibling
• I'm too judgmental with people who are too judgmental
• The friend who knows a lot about computers
• Lab rats dream about the mazes they run
• Feeding people who struggle to eat
• war trophies for people who have never been to war
• People who love FTP
• Things that a fetus would say if it could speak
• Somewhere there is a syphilitic prostitute who is going to tell me about India
• It's not enough they take your life away with a gun; they have to take it away with their pens, too
• But what are they really thinking?
• Good News for People Who Love Bad News
• Something I hate about email
• In the dream he laughs and says, You thought they were graceful on the ground
• Who are wise in love, love most, say least
• A lie only hurts when it's told by people you care about
• Real hackers start their own IRC networks so that they can't be traced by the FBI
• 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
• Never meddle in the affairs of wizards, especially before they have their coffee
• How to say "No" and have people listen
• People want what they cannot have
• What the Institute for Motivational Development had to say about me
• People who are not anarchists
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• People don't flail when they die
• You can learn a lot about someone from the way they die
• drugs that are as bad as DARE says they are
• I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it
• Girls who tell you they have a boyfriend
• The thing is, I love sex, but I sort of hate my brother
• They hate me because I'm beautiful
• (Listen to the) Flower People
• Dumb things people wish they hadn't said
• People can get stuff here that they can't get anywhere else.
• I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all killed. That is to say, optimistic.
• Judging women by their books
• Drivers who think they are Neo
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• Things the IS people would love to say out loud
• we who are about to die salute you
• They need food AND water? You didn't tell me about the water part.
• Maybe you have a really large living room, full of people with loose morals and confused expectations about the rock culture.
• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• White guys who say "-izzle"
• They Spent Their Wild Youthful Days in the Glittering World of the Salons
• There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• Three people who are spies and a horse who will also be a spy
• When you kill people they die
• A tight circle of like-minded people, each with hands on the genitals of their neighbor
• I never remembered my dreams until they started being about you
• They Say that in the Army
• They say you're a man with true grit.
• They Prayed to their Code To Give them Light
• But who nodes the noders?
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• Y2K from people who worked that night
• Getting over "Disco Sucks!"
• How to get people to clean up their core dumps
• Discovering personalities by watching people with their dogs
• People who died laughing
• "Ha ha," says the Israeli voter to the American voter, "don't talk to me about the lesser of two evils."
• 23 Things They Don't Tell You About Capitalism
• A love letter from someone who cannot say I Love You
• Say my name, bitch!
• I'm not a dyke just 'cause I shaved my head, but if it keeps certain people away, fuckin' A right on
• popularity contest
• People who use Windows
• People's secrets show in their eyes
• I fixed my body image issues by looking at people as if they were dogs
• Ten things I hate about restaurant customers
• What some stuffy Victorians had to say about poetry
• They say that I have the best ass below 14th Street
• the morning snowdrops fall like dew in the sunlight and fill my heart with their icy cold and all i can think about is you
• The economy has hit everyone hard. Well, everyone who hasn't lost track of how many houses they own, anyhow.
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• The Princess Who Kicked Butt
• Don't you hate these clever people and these clever-people parties?

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