In 1883, Pedro Carolino published "English As She Is Spoke", arguably the worst phrasebook ever written. Carolino's problem was that he spoke Portuguese, some French, and no English, so his translations had to pass through a Portuguese to French dictionary and then through a French to English dictionary.

The results are hilariously bad; virtually every sentence in the text is fractured, and some make no sense whatsoever. Mark Twain found the phrasebook to be particularly entertaining, and it was also included in "The Incomplete Book of Failures" by Stephen Pike.

Examples include:

To craunch the marmoset.
The stone as roll not heap up not foam.
Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot.
Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.

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