Open Post Script - 18th September 2003 to Open Letter to Saddam Hussein.

Well, it happened. As it turns out, some of my advice was good and some was really bad. Putting garrisons in mosques, hospitals, schools and orphanages was a complete waste of time, even if you'd actually done it - I note you didn't, maybe you were more cynical about "our" attack than i was.

We bombed your schools. We bombed your hospitals. We bombed your mosques. We cut off power to your civilians, we disrupted your water supplies, we targetted areas of high civilian population.

Non-Opinion Aside

James Kennedy, Journalist, The Guardian:    "Have there not been thousands of civilian casualties in Iraq?"

White House Spokesman: "The casualties are not officially numbered, but we can state that they are very low."

Kennedy: "The Red Cross report civilian deaths in excess of 10,000. Is that an accurate figure?"

Spokesman: "I think when you look at the size of the offensive, 10,000 is very low is this context."

Normal Service Resumed...

So, at least you don't have Weapons of Mass Hysteria anymore, right? Um. Well. Hans Blix has publicly stated on Australian radio that he now doesn't believe you ever had them. Donald Rumsfeld has said they may never find any such weapons, presumably because he knows you didn't have any.

Boy George, on the other hand has actually promised to find the weapons. And George keeps his promises, as all those liberated and now luxuriously housed, overfed and massively wealthy Afghans know very well. Hmm.

And what about here in the UK? Well, we're just getting more and more spin. Issues of whether or not we should have supported this blatently illegal war (we didn't, His Toniness did) have been eclipsed by issues of whether or not Andrew Gilligan is a crap journalist and whether anyone was unjustifiably beastly to a B'Hai defence analyst who sadly appears (no proof either way) to have killed himself.

Oh, you're finally in the clear, too. Last night (GMT, 17/9/2003) Boy George finally came clean and told the American People that you had absolutely nothing to do with 11/9/2001. Apparently, over 70% of them had been brainwashed into believing that a) You're Osama's bestest friend in the whole world ever but b) you were personally responsible for the Twin Towers thingy, probably flying the 'planes by remote control from your personal jacuzzi while being tenderly "massaged" by exotic dusky handmaidens. But, be fair, they're only Americans, they believe what Fox "News" tells them. I don't know if Uncle Rupe will allow his networks to broadcast Georgie's "clarification" but i doubt it'll make much difference.

There are times when the phrase "thick as pigshit" seems wholly inadequate.

So, every week, a few more soldiers die. Some British, some American. The power still isn't back. The water still isn't back. The sanctions still aren't lifted. The ratio of servicemen dead to civilian dead in the current "peace" is actually the same as that during the height of the bombing, although to be fair, these days Iraqis are killing the odd Allied soldier instead of just the Americans opening fire on the Iraqis, the British, any passing journalists and, lacking those, their own guys.

Sorry, Bobby-Ray, I thought you was a Eye-raqi taynk! Why don'cha put some goddaym bullhorns awn the front of yer APC, dude? Y'know, painting a flag awn it maht hayelp some, too.

The United Nations is facing demands from the United States to come in and pick up the pieces, or rather, to supply troops for the Americans to command. And pay for them. That way, when they're ordered to open fire on each other, hell, they was only foreigners. And who wants our brave heroic all-American boys taking orders from some Paki, huh? Gotta be American planned, American ordered. Best in the world. Riiiiiight.

I'm bitter, Saddam, i know. You've got more reason to be than me, you've been betrayed, deposed and there's a bounty on your head. I've just been lied to some politicians which is pretty much business as usual. So, i'll try and cool down a little and do what they always do in a murder case, whether it's for one person or 10,000 Iraqi civilians.

I'll follow the money.

Where does the money start? With the taxpayer. We know about the billions that Boy George asked for from US congress. That's a part we can trace. Who gets that?

Well, to start with, the US Military. They have to pay for training, feeding and supporting military personnel in adverse conditions, so they don't keep the money. They spend it. Where do they spend it?

Food is a big one. The US Military is almost entirely supplied from the US's agribusinesses. Largest single commodities supplier is Monsanto, which supplies over 80% of comestibles consumed by the US Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps. Okay. That's some it. Where's the rest going?

Munitions, of every type. So we're looking at the big arms manufacturers? Shit, i thought those guys were exonerated from starting wars ever since Oliver Stone went all flaky over JFK? Ah, well. A lot of the money does indeed go there, and if you think about it, the increased terrorist activity caused by this and other US actions will ensure that their products and contracts will keep being bought for the forseeable future. That's pure speculation, of course. I bet McDonnel Douglas and Sikorsky love peace and are as sad as anyone else about what's going on. No, really.

Let's move on from there. Let's talk about the oil. You knew that was coming, right Saddam? Like i said before, nobody ever said you were stupid.

Now, Boy George promised that the oil revenues belong to "the Iraqi people". Notwithstanding comments about Georgie's promises and the keeping thereof, this is really not too big a deal.

You know and I know that somebody has to rebuild Iraq. You know and I know that every last one of the contracts for doing so has been assigned, without exception, to US companies and consortia. And, if you've been following the news as closely as I have, you'll know that by far the biggest beneficiary is veep Dick Cheney's company, Halliburton. So, who's paying Halliburton?

The oil revenues are paying Halliburton. So, the Iraqi people are paying Halliburton. So Halliburton pays US employees who pay taxes (not the directors, just the employees) and that means that the US taxpayer pays the US Military to buy munitions from US corporations in order to blow the shit out of your country, which your people then pay Halliburton to rebuild so the US Government can collect taxes from Halliburton employees (but not directors) to give to rich Americans.

Whew, that was simple. So, rich people win, poor people lose, especially poor foreign people and who gives a fuck about them? The Americans are hurting here! Some foreigners blew up their Twin Phallic Towers!

You know what? I hope the UN refuses to go into Iraq. I hope the "terrorist" attacks on the two occupying powers continue. You might wonder about the quote-marks - well, when it was Afghans on Russians we called them "Freedom Fighters" and to be fair, I don't much difference except that we're not arming them this time. I hope the "Allies" face continued revolts from their lied-to and ignored populations. I hope it all turns to shit and the US economy gets royally fucked, not only by Boy George's rampant fiscal mismanagement ('cause that's a whole other rant) and if that leads to another Wall Street Crash and a heavy rain of stockbrokers and CEOs, hey, the world just lost a few more parasites.

I know what you've done to your own people and others, but the current US administration is doing a fine job of making you look like a saint. I used to have a little hope that the belligerant, slightly retarded teenager that is the USA would maybe grow up a little but no, it's just started flexing its muscles and wanting to fuck other countries. Guess'we'll have to wait another hundred years.

Until it does grow up a little, the rest of the world needs to send America to its room and lock the door. If we do, then of all people, Saddam, we'll have you to thank for it. Imagine, no more mega-corporate fraud. So much less immoral megalomaniacal pursuit of money. So many less lawsuits. So many less lawyers.

Almost no spam! No moronic champanzees telling world-leaders what to do "or else".

Perhaps, just perhaps, this might be the start of a Golden Age. Let's hope so.


Thanks to Noung for clarifying the contents of Georgie-Boy's speech. Much appreciated.

Will this ever end? Sure, it'll end. When the deaths end. When the cause for outrage is gone. When people start becoming accountable for their actions, preferably in court.

Failing that, of course, it'll end when my account gets terminated and Everything2 gets shut down under the PATRIOT Act for hosting incitements to terrorism and advice to an "Enemy of Freedom". Or when the editors decide that my writeups aren't worth hosting anymore.

It's only a matter of time.

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