I am currently staring down the prospect of spending my first major holiday without my family. I'm not quite sure how to feel about that.

All week long my dad has been offering to come get me if I didn't want to drive home (my FUBAR right knee has been giving me grief of late and he thought the drive might be painful for it). But then the starter on my car went yesterday and I had to haul it into a shop today. The mechanic's place was swamped, so they didn't think they'd be able to fix it before Friday. When I called to ask if my dad still wanted to come get me he suggested I just stay here at school and not bother.

I'm not sure if it came down to him not wanting to drive, or the fact that I'm sick and he's deathly afraid of germs. He cited as part of his reason the fact that I'm a vegetarian now so I'm not even going to eat the turkey. But for me holidays always meant a little something more than turkey. They never ended up being much more, considering the governing philosophy of my family's patriarch, mind you, but I always wanted them to be.

I've been trying to build bridges with my family of late. I'm getting to the age where I don't really need to come home to them anymore, so I keep on trying to find reasons to want to come home. Dad and I don't get along so well, so finding those reasons has always been hard. I'd been telling myself quite a bit of late that I should quit trying, as clearly he isn't giving it all that much effort.

I'm not sure how I feel about him telling me I'm right.

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