Some are born with bossness, others have the role of boss forced upon them.
I fancy myself in the second category, basically a techie boy (a geek
) until last month, suddenly loaded with responsibilities.
What hit first is the responsibility. All these people (less than ten, but it seems a fucking lot from here), and their characters, and their needs, and projects and salaries and travel expenses ... all depend - to some degree - on my actions.
And I can usually see what is wrong, but I cannot see the clear way to fix it. Technology I can hack, but people ? That is a different problem.
And then there is the paper. Forms to send, memos to ack, RFCs, notes, lists. Files, the paper variety. I used to wonder about file cabinets, now I know what they are for.
And the CYA practices feel like, I don't know, casting Create Light and Magic Shield before entering an unknown room in your D&D game of choice.
And of course, I am boss, but I have a Big Boss watching on me - she is nice, but it is clear that as far as she is concerned the technology buck in the office stops with yours truly. I am not complaining, this is the way it should be, but I have turned from Influential Advisor to The Dude That is Blamed When the Net Goes Down (maybe I will be able to get that title on my business card).
Besides the Long Haul division, I am also guilty for parts
of the Goosefood Project, of which "clutching at straws, screaming in the dark and bumping into objects" would be a charitable description. And that is why I sleep poorly these days.