The Ode to a Spellchecker was written by Professor Jerrold H. Zar of Northern Illinois University and published in the January/February 1994 issue of the Journal of Irreproducible Results. It became widely circulated by e-mail and the attribution was lost. Below I have transcribed the poem in its entirety, along with a "translation"

THE POEM                                 TRANSLATION
Eye halve a spelling check her;          I have a spelling checker;
It came with my pea sea.                 It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue         It plainly marks for my review
Miss steaks aye kin knot sea.            Mistakes I cannot see.

Eye ran this poem threw it               I ran this poem through it
Your sure reel glad two no.              You're sure real glad to know.
Its vary polished in it's weigh,         It's very polished in its way,
My checker tolled me sew.                My checker told me so.

A check her is a bless sing;             A checker is a blessing;
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.            It frees you loads of time.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,   It helps me write, all styles to read,
And aides me when aye rime.              And aids me when I rhyme.

Each frays come posed up on my screen    Each phrase composed upon my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule;             I trust to be a jewel;
The checker pours o'er every word        The checker pores o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.             To check some spelling rule.

Bee fore wee rote with checkers          Before we wrote with checkers
Hour spelling was inn deck line,         Our spelling was in decline,
Butt now when wee dew have a laps,       But now when we do have a lapse,
Wee are knot maid too wine.              We are not made to whine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling           But now because my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,        Is checked with such great flair,
Their are know faults with in my cite,   There are no faults within my sight,
Of nun eye am a wear.                    Of none I am aware.

Now spelling does knot phase me,         Now spelling does not faze me,
It does knot bring a tier;               It does not bring a tear;
My pay purrs awl due glad den            My papers all do gladden
With wrapped words fare as hear.         With wrapped words fair as here.

To rite with care is quite a feet        To write with care is quite a feat
Of witch won should be proud;            Of which one should be proud;
And wee mussed dew da best wee can       And we must do the best we can
Sew flaws are knot aloud.                So flaws are not allowed.
That's why eye brake in two averse       That's why I break into a verse
Cuz eye dew want too please.             Cause I do want to please.
Sow glad eye yam that aye did bye        So glad I am that I did buy
This soft wear four pea seas.            This software for PCs.

Jerrold H. Zar
Northern Illinois University
DeKalb, IL 60115-2864
http://www.bios.niu.edu/zar/zar.html

Based on opening lines suggested by Mark Eckman.
By the author's count, 127 of the 225 words of the poem are incorrect (although all words are correctly spelled).

Published January/February 1994, on page 13, in
Journal of Irreproducible Results
c/o Wisdom Simulators, Inc.
P.O. Box 380853
Cambridge, MA 02238

The title Ode to a Spellchecker was not original, but seems appropriate. I think that Zar had called it only "A Candidate for a Pullet Surprise." The poem is as funny today as it was when it was originally published, almost ten years ago. It surely needs no update, except perhaps a new verse of 'IM speak', full of its-it's errors and abrv 4U!

Zar is a professor of biostatistics. I suspect he gives amusing lectures.