Many conflicting thoughts today. I called in sick to work again. I probably could have gone in, but I'm exhausted. The place is a mess after cleaning all day and not finding Jill's retainer. My allergies are kicking my butt, my throat is so sore eating an apple is difficult since the acid burns. I'm tired, but can't sleep after a restless night. I drove my daughter to school after spending the day with her yesterday. I feel like I'm justifiying this time, part of me feels guilty, the other part feels like I really needed another day to recuperate. My physical health has never been great, but I want to make it better. This can be done by a combination of things. Walking, getting outside, better posture, less stress eating, more meals, taking time to stop and notice the beauty in everyday objects like the handkerchiefs I inherited from my neighbor after she died.
At work my friend and I delight in the smallest of things. A fresh master copy that isn't crooked on the page. A shipment that comes in that doesn't have a new product that we don't know what to do with, someone taking the time to thank us, a hug from another person, a lunch where we can sit and talk. I decided that I'm not overwhelmed, I'm burned out from giving too much for too long. Once again I'm learning that I need to scale back and ask for the things that I want and need. It's so hard to take when you're used to giving so much of yourself to others. My children are an energy drain because I'm an ineffective parent, but I'm getting better. I held out instead of letting Jill go visit my sister after she lost her retainer. It has to be here somewhere, but I don't know where it could be. The sun is shining, it's warm on my back. I got some writing done today. I bought gluten free bread that doesn't have potato starch in it and it was the most marvelous thing to be able to eat a simple sandwich.
Praying this finds you well,
J
P.S. Someone on Twitter is opening a non-baseball site where people can post whatever. Color me intrigued...