Today was one of those days. You know the kind. The ones that start off with a cuppa joe and a breakfast of questionable nutritional value and end up with expressing befuddlement of the world at large on the internet.
Okay, I just have to ask this first: Who the fuck leaves a baby OUTSIDE?
I am not making that shit up. Today at church, part way through first service, one of the parent-teachers comes up the Early Childhood Development Office/Resource Room with a horde of five year olds and one baby in a carrier. Due to the amount of pink the baby was wearing, I'm assuming she was a girl.
Now, when this happens, it was pretty dang busy at the kiosks 'cause it was Newcomers Breakfast, meaning all the older kids classes were moved from the Multipurpose Room to room 115, and the Multipurpose Room was filled with new people to the church and fancy tables and free food. So not only were we signing in kids at the kiosks, we were also signing in the new people and giving them all happy little nametags.
Despite the crush of people, I did manage to hear the words, "found" "outside" "playground" and "no nametag".
Well, fuck. There was probably a reasonable explanation, right?
Not really. For the rest of the service, I saw the teacher running around with the baby in tow. I heard it fourth or fifth hand later that one of the new people came in through the back of the church, through the kids play area (apparently one of the janitorial staff had forgotten to lock the gate surrounding the playground), saw all the kids there and saw the teacher and figured, "Well herp fucking derp, I guess this is a good spot as any to drop off a baby!" and left her on the playground.
Keep in mind, this is a baby. Not a toddler, an infant. As in, still googley-eyed, mostly-bald, just-discovering-her-toes, smaller-than-my-cat child. I didn't see what happened when the parents came back (yes, they did come back), but I heard they were complaining about not knowing where their baby had gone. The phrase "We left her on the playground" was actually uttered.
What. The. Fuck.
No, seriously, I demand an answer for that. What the flying fuck.
I heard there were harsh words spoken from the Early Childhood Director.
So. After first service was done, the Multipurpose Room was cleared of adulthood and food and second service resumed as usual. Part of the lesson today involved balloons. And popping them. I don't know- maybe it's symbolic of something or other, I didn't catch the lesson plan, I was in the Resource Room goofing off and waiting for something productive to do.
Then Maddy comes in.
Maddy is around eight years old. She's a cute kid, and her mom's nice. I'd just signed her in that morning. Usually, she's one of those kids that never has to come into the office, 'cause they're so quiet and they never cause any trouble.
Today, she was escorted in with a new helper I didn't recognize, both fingers firmly plugged into her ears.
Zeph: Ah, Maddy. . . ?
Zeph: What . . .
Sophie: What's wrong, Maddy?
Helper: It's the balloons. She doesn't like the noise.
Lydia: Well, you can unplug your ears here, honey. You can't hear them from here.
Maddy: Yes I can! It goes through the walls! I can hear them!
Lydia: Here, how about I get you something to color, you want to color?
Maddy nods. And the rest of that service, she colors and has snack and just sits around with us hens, one hand with the crayons, the other still plugged firmly in her ear.
Well, okeedokee then.
Rhea is kind of an odd duck. Love her to pieces, she's really nice, and she's the quintessential Mexican Grandmother type, but sometimes, she's a bit odd. She talks a lot about dreams, and what they mean. She talks about her "Old,Godless life" when she was younger and how her husbands abused her.
And today she decided to regale me of visions she's had from the Lord. Specifically, about the visions she's had of her deceased son, and the stillborn baby she lost back when she was still young.
She says she saw her son (who was fifty years old when he died back in 2008) twice, once in her other son's garden, lamenting that he couldn't help, and the second time in her kitchen, kneading dough. The one of the still born had God (face obscured) sitting in a chair surrounded by angels ("They were all men, not a single woman among them.") holding onto her baby.
I. . .really don't know what to say to that. She really believes it, and it makes her feel better- that's great. But I kinda sorta seriously doubt God took the time to say, 'Oh don't worry, Rhea! You're son and baby are -fine!- In fact, have a vision! Oh ho ho!' I'm sorry! I just sort of don't think God hands out visions willy-nilly like that! Especially since it's not a, 'Rhea, lead your people out of Israel' vision, but a 'Don't worry, things are actually okay! I'm just going to comfort you!' vision.
But Rhea really believes it, and it makes her happy, so I'm happy for her.
But if she suddenly decides to go off and conquer Israel in the name of the Lord, I. . . really doubt she'd get too far.
Later on, after I've started my shift in the coffeeshop, I happened to be headed to the office to replenish their coffee supply. Maddy was in lobby, crying and surrounded by cooing adults. See, they repeat the service. Whatever they did in second service, they're going to do in third. Which meant balloons again, only this time the second service teacher had her stick around, rather than excusing her to the Resource Room.
Maddy really, really, really doesn't like the sound of popping balloons.
When I started my shift today, first thing I noticed were the new faces. The new girl, Natalya was there, (though Ray was not), and some other girl I think was named Stephanie was there (along with Judy and Linda). Cue me being paranoid as fuck, because - Holy shit another new person? Is somebody getting fired? Somebody quitting? Ray was to replace Amanda, and Natalya was to replace Jennifer,( both of which pretty much left in the same week), but who's leaving next?
Turns out she was just there filling in for Ray. The bosslady is out of town this week, and she wanted to make EXTRA sure we're not all dicking up without her guidance, meaning no empty places. Good thing, too, as we were SUPER busy today.
Also,some guy got shanked outside the coffee shop.
When I showed up, a cop car was pulling in. A giant blue EMS truck was already parked out there. I saw them strapping a guy into a gurney, and there was another guy they took into the back of the police car (Judy said it was a guy who'd come in earlier for coffee, "he seemed really agitated") and one of the cops came in to use the restroom.
Another word of mouth thing, but I heard it from one of the janitors that the edgy guy was waving a knife around and I guess the guy in the gurney tried to stop him. Odd, because the guy in the gurney is a regular who's in a wheelchair. I'm pretty sure he's going to be fine: he was talking to the cop as they loaded him in, and he seemed okay. I didn't hear sirens when they pulled out, so I'm guessing they were still taking him to the hospital, but not as an emergency.
So. That happened.