The Further Adventures of Nick Danger
, (Firesign Theatre
/The Firesign Theatre
wonderful and somehow still not dated parody
of thirties detective
Los Angelees...He walks again by night...
Out of the fog
(foghorn in the distance)
into the smog (cough, cough)
Relentlessly... ruthlessly ("I wonder where Ruth is...")... Doggedly ("ruff, ruff" "Hey.. get away from me...")...
Toward his weekly meeting with... the UN-KNOWN!
At fourth and Drucker he turns left... At Drucker and fourth he turns right... He crosses MacArthur Park
...and walks into a great sandstone
Oof, my nose.
Groping for the door, he steps inside, climbs the thriteen steps to his office (sound of phone ringing)
He walks in. He's ready for mystery, he's ready for excitement, he's ready for anything, he's...
(ringing phone) "Nick Danger, Third Eye."
"I want to order a pizza to go and no anchovies."
"No anchovies? You've got the wrong man. I spell my name Danger.(click of the phone abruptly hung up)"
"I was sitting in my office on that drizzley afternoon listening to the monotonous staccato of rain on my desktop and reading my name on the glass of the office door... Regnad Kcin..."
" My secretary lay snoring on the floor, her long, beautiful gams pinioned under the couch"
"There was only one joker in L.A. sensitive enough to wear that scent. And I had to find out who he was..."
"Stop it. I've got Bradshaw's rod pressed against Nancy's temple. Now you spill the beans or I'll blow her brain out."
"I think you're bluffing flatfoot..."
"How did you get in here, you don't have a key!"
"No... only half a ki."
"I had to split it with the sound effects man."
(background) "Thanks Rocky!"
"Do you know what this is?"
I had to think for a minute... What cruel game was he playing?...
"That's a... brown... paper... bag..."
"That's correct. Now look inside... What do you see?"
"Why, that's a pickle."
Very good... Now I think you're ready for THIS! (sound of metal hitting and ringing sharply)
"Why, that's just a two-bit ring from a Cracker Back Jox."
"What about my pickle?"
"You're lucky you still have your brown paper bag, small change!"
"Danger! You haven't seen the last of me..." (sound of running feet fading to the background)
"No, but the first of you turns my stomach..."