Necto is a club in Ann Arbor, Michigan, down the street from some Google offices and Michigan University's quasi-famous Quad campus.

It's one of the many places in Michigan where you can still hear the heartbeat of Babylon, a pounding quarter note bass drum. Bouncy chords and melodies fly around the mad rhythm of the drum like trapeze artists. The words to the songs are wild, raw, sexual, and lip to lip, touching you and smiling.

The dance floor is sea of people bumping and grinding. They don't dance. They make love through their blue jeans and dresses. Most of the girls are there to get free drinks and have a good time. Most of the boys are there to get laid - and most of them won't tonight.

Some boys are more proactive than others. They buy the perceived as cute or slutty girls drinks, depending on how much they're fiending for sex. Then they take them out on the dance floor. Or they find a lonely girl on the dance floor and then buy her a drink.

Other boys just stare at the dance floor all night like a lion looking for the weak member in a herd of buffalo. They nod their heads to the beat and talk to their buddies. Sometimes they get lucky, but usually they don't.

Face it, for all the talk about sexual equality in America, there's a lot of Kens and Barbies out there.

They're at the club for the excuse to drink and for the excuses the music gives them to act sexual. A lot of the hit songs today basically demand that people go to the club and drink and dance. The music and the clubs have a clear symbiotic relationship.

"Listen to this music and go to the club," the songs subconsciously (or, in many cases, consciously) say. "You'll get laid. Or at least drunk."

I wonder who it is out there in California that dreams up all these trends? Some paid consultant, probably, that all the big entertainment companies trust. And why not? That person somehow knew that club music could take over the radio. It's just the latest in that person's long string of successes.

"Trust me, ants are gonna be huge," said the consultant back in 1997. "Don't ask me why! I have all kinds of metrics to prove it .... No, I'm not going to show you. You have to trust me. Remember when I gave you that big scoop about dinosaurs?"

Then, the very next year, A Bug's Life and Antz come out and made tons of money. Go figure. I know that 1998 was when I first noticed these inexplicable trends, when I was 10 years old. But they've probably been going on much longer.

This trend of club music probably won't last forever. With America's economy in such bad shape, it makes sense that people would turn to sex and alcohol to escape. But in another year or two, either people won't be able to afford to go out to the club, or the economy will be on the upswing again. That means it'll be time for a new musical trend.

In fact, it'll probably be about time we had some '90s throwback music. Where will all of Limp Bizkit's proteges be when you need them?

And we know Necto will be all over the latest trend like ants on popsicle, to appeal to the next generation of cool people.

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