necrophilia: a paraphilia of the stigmatic/eligibilic type in which sexuoerotic arousal and facilitation or attainment of orgasm are responsive to, and [dependent upon]{contingent on} not a live partner, but a corpse [from Greek, nekros, dead + -philia]. There is no reciprocal paraphilic condition except in the make-believe of being dead and copulating in a coffin in preparation for burial--for which there is no technical term.

Dictionary of Sexology Project: Main Index

Although some nodes on e2 (necrophilia for dummies, for example) seem to prefer just joking the matter away, the fact is ignored that there are quite a lot of people out there who are necrophile, and have necrophile tendencies. This writeup is not for them. This writeup is for those of you who are curious about what necrophilia is, and it tries to give some insight into why someone can be a necrophile. It might be worth noting that I am not a necrophile.

How many people are necrophiles?

It is hard to put a number on something like this. Think about it this way: Very many homosexuals have a hard time "coming out of the closet", or admitting they are homosexual, even though statistically as many as 1/7 may have homosexual or bisexual tendencies.

In other words: Considering it is so hard for people to come out with something as "common" as homosexuality, it is understandable that very few people will admit to being necrophiles.

So, what's so great about shagging corpses?

Unfortunately, most sexual preferences that are not normal (i.e. everything other than heterosexuality) is met with a great deal of scepticism and prejudice. That is all right, it is a natural part of being human. However, if you are not willing to be openminded about sexual preferences (including necrophilia), you might as well go read something else.

Okay - here goes.

By definition, Necrophilia describes the sexual inclination towards engaging in intimate acts with a dead person. This does, however, not mean that a necrophile per definition would kill to have sex with a person - in fact, Various studies show the exact opposite. Stories have gone round about people going to graveyards, digging up rotting corpses for the sake of sexual intercourse - although some people are bound to have this fantasy, this also seems to apply to just a minority of necrophiles.

So what is necrophilia is all about?

Unfortunately (for the sake of this node) I am not a necrophile, and I cannot give a first-hand experience / story. I have done some research, however, and most of the things in this writeup will be more or less a regurgitation of the thoughts and ideas I have come across. If anyone knows that I have made any mistakes or omissions, please do contact me, so I can correct.

Sexual intercourse with a deceased is intense. Although this is pretty much stating the obvious

Necrophilia often is closely connected with Somnophilia, sexual intercourse with sleeping partners.

Necrophilia is harmless. If we assume that the necrophile doesn't kill his/her chosen one theirselves, Necrophilia is completely harmless. A dead body will not be physically or mentally harmed from the experience, in contrast with other (far more common) sexual paraphilies, such as BDSM (some forms, anyway), Rape and Rape Fantasies etc.

Necrophilia is not just the fantasy of having sex with a dead person - it can also be fantasy of being that dead person. Although this obviously is impossible, this seems to be a quite normal fantasy, in particular for female necrophiles.

Necrophilia can be a way of saying good bye - Quite a few of the necrophile sexual encounters that I came across were once-in-a-lifetime (no pun intended) encounters, when someone would be a part of their loved one's dying away, ending in an eventual death. The last sexual encounter after death would be some sort of farewell, just like a last kiss.

It is quite normal for morticians to be necrophiles - During a conversation I had with a belgian mortician, he told me that quite a lot of morticians were necrophiles. (That was the way he said it, but I assume it is the other way around - Quite a lot of necrophiles choose to be morticians). Apparantly it is not very uncommon that corpses that pass through a funeral home are subject to sexual attention from the staff working here.

For most necrophiles, the fantasies stay fantasies - Most sexual tendencies can be repressed - you keep hearing stories about homosexual people who marry someone of the opposite sex, either because it is more practical, because they want to cover up their homosexuality, or because they fall in love (I hear your arguments about homosexuals not being able to love someone of their own sex, but I disagree - you don't fall in love with a gender - you fall in love with a person. Besides, Love and sexuality are not neccesarily connected.)

Necrophilia can be about trust and respect - If a couple plays out a necrophilia RPG (Role Playing Game), one has to be able to trust each other. Some necrophiles like the fantasy of drugging their partner, leaving them unconscious. Obviously, handling the partner with care and respect is paramount if such a thing is to "work". This goes further as well. The few necrophiles I have spoken to all said that respect for a sexual partner was important, whether they are alive or dead.

Necrophilia can be performed for the deceased's best. This was the idea I found was most difficult to come to terms with. As such, I don't think I will be able to explain it properly. The idea is something like this: Although a corpse cannot feel anything, there is a certain spiritual bonding when one has sex. This spiritual bonding would occur regardless if both of the parts would be alive or not. As such, having sexual intercourse (or any sexual activity) one last time can be done as sort of a respectful act - a last drop of sexual attention before the body starts to deteriorate, if you will.

 

I am not sure how much sense this writeup makes, but I promise this is the best and most respectful approach to necrophilia I can offer. As said before - corrections and suggestions are very welcome.

-30-

last updated october 3, 2002

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