Scientists announced today that they have perfected a nasal contraceptive. Now all they have to do is find someone who practices nasal intercourse.

When an eskimo kiss just ain't enough: nasophilia is a partialism/fetish/paraphilia wherein an individual is not okay with merely looking at noses but wants to touch, lick, and/or suck another's nostrils either as a prelude to actual sex or in place thereof. Sometimes there is also the desire to consume one's mate's snot as a form of foreplay. Being considered by many a sexual perversion, nasophilia is not talked about in polite society.

Unfortunately for the likes of Cyrano de Bergerac, nasophilia seems to occur more in men than women.

The German socioligist Magnus Hirschfeld documented the following case:

Another man became fixated on the size of female nostrils, thinking that if large enough, they could be penetrated. He drew and kept sketches of his large-nosed feminine ideal. One day, while on the bus, he spotted a young woman who had large nostrils. Infatuated, he followed her home and proposed marriage on the spot. She refused, and when he continued to come to her home, she had him arrested. (Sexual Anomalies and Perversions, pp 411, 551-2)

Because for everything that exists, there's a fetish for it. And for every fetish, there exists an internet community to make people feel less alone.

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