This writeup was inspired by an article I found while doing a major clean of my room. Rather than throw the very interesting article away for good, I will attempt to paraphrase and comment on what I read. The article was found in "Women News Magazine", April 2000, a free paper I picked up in Vancouver when I was there on a trip. The article was called "The Male Room: Men's Secrets" and was written by Jim Sellner, PhD., Dip.C.

Non-orgasmic? You're thinking, "She's crazy." Which may be true, but regardless of that, this article suggested that ejaculation is not as closely linked to orgasm as most think.

It cites a study done by Dr. Paul Pearsall at Sinai Hospital in Detroit, in which 88% of 1100 men reported that they had never had an orgasm during intercourse. Admittedly, the first thing I thought was, "Who are these men?" However, I have heard of orgasm without ejaculation - so it is possible that it could work the other way around. The article states that "...men think that if they have an ejaculation, they will feel a great sense of sexual satisfaction. But most men do not feel sexually satisfied because they focus on ejaculation rather than orgasm." Fascinating! It listed some of the "symptoms" of the non-orgasmic man:

Although I found the article somewhat badly written and slightly confusing, I thought the concept was very viable. If this were to be true, the male concept of ejaculation=orgasm would be one of the biggest sexual myths out there. I can see how this myth could survive generations - the orgasm is something difficult to describe, and it's possible a sort of external explosion could be confused with an internal one. For females, I can see how it might be easier for us to identify orgasms - if we have one, we know it, because there's nothing to confuse it with (the wording is a little awkward, but you get the idea).

I know you're all getting ready to reply to this saying "You stupid chick. You don't know what you're talking about! How would you know anyway!" But the idea is a possibility. If you have any well thought out comments on this concept, I would be interested to hear them. I wanted to node this but don't really want to get into an argument - these are not my original ideas, after all, and therefore not my battle to fight.


Update: how very interesting. Definately good to know, though it appears (as the article said) that most men aren't even aware of this possibility. Thanks to the thoughtful replies.
personal experience

first an aside, (moving into the everything editor after using vi for a few hours is really confusing);)

for me ejaculation is just cumming, although correlated with orgasm, they are separate entities.

feelings after ejaculation are relief, satisfaction, it's a bit like blowing your nose. sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes there is a long build up and the relief is greater.

The relief is physical, it comes from the loins.

orgasm is a mental phenomenon. It has happened to me too too infrequently. It shakes you to the very core of your being, it feels like the top of your head is being unscrewed and light is being poured in. There is no room for thought as all of the fireworks going off in your head are getting in the way, it is trembling in your lovers arms not in control what you say, a babble of words flowing, i love you i love you hold me hold me ..,
you can't breath you're breathing too quickly and after, after somebody has tipped you up and shaken the insides of you out and around the floor and you are lying naked mentally and physically all you can do is lie there holding, being held, and sure you might have ejaculated, but who noticed?

i think anticipation, affection, trust are all required. medically its akin to a minor bout of epilepsy. you have to be able to trust the person that you are with as you are going to be revealing yourself so deeply to them. A girl i knew one brought me to orgasm by just trailing her hair across my back, back and forth, and kisses here and there.

Of course this is just my experience. I guess for everyone its different (otherwise why are there no "hair trailing across back" mags on the news stands?)

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