In the modern Mongolian city of Ulaanbaatar, one doesn't need special knowledge of traditional etiquette, but in the countryside it's essential for a welcome reception and the best possible experience. Of course, no one will insist on faultless observance, but taking the time to familiarize oneself with Mongolian etiquette can go a long way in relating better to one's hosts and preserving ancient customs. Hard conditions of life in the Mongolian countryside throughout history gave rise to traditions of friendliness and hospitality. Mongolian hosts are well aware that the traveller entering their home is probably tired and may still have quite the journey ahead, and since they have undoubtedly found themselves in similar situations more than once before, they do their best to make their visitor comfortable.

Greetings

As in most other places in the world, a greeting equivalent to "How are you?" ("Sain bainuu") is most common. The Mongolian difference is that a negative answer is considered to be impolite; one is expected to answer "Sain", meaning "Fine", and only later in the conversation may one's problems be mentioned. Mongolians try to avoid unpleasant conversational topics in general, though if unavoidable, it's important to address them as tactfully as possible.

In the countryside, greetings often concern country life and suit the season: "Are you wintering well?", "Are you spending this spring in peace?", "Are your sheep grazing in peace?", "Are your sheep fattening well?", etc. The word "peace" comes up often since in Mongolia the concept is equivalent to happiness.

One must also remember to use the correct form of address depending on the person's age or position. For example, appending the respectful "-guay" suffix to the name of an elderly person.

Good wishes

In villages, it's common to wish someone well upon finding them at work or play. For example, if they're milking a cow, one would say: "May your bucket be brim full of milk". If they're beating wool, one would say: "May your wool be as soft as silk". If they're playing a game with others, it's common to wish that everyone win, if only once, to which they respond: "May it be as you say".

Dropping in

It is not acceptable to knock at the door of a ger and to ask if you may enter; one is expected to holler "Hold the dog!" ("Nokhoi Khori!") and then approach, even if there is no dog, to let the hosts know they have a guest. The host and hostess will then emerge wearing their hats (which are not removed in greeting as elsewhere) and buttoned-up dels, ready to help the guest dismount if on horseback.

Tea time

Before tea is served, snuff bottles are exchanged between the men. It is proper to accept the snuff bottle, even if you don't have one to give in return, and to take some snuff before handing the bottle back. The hostess will then begin to serve tea. It is impolite to ask the guest outright where he comes from and where he's going, so it's expected that the guest himself will volunteer this information at some point in the conversation, after the traditional greetings and questions about the weather. Tea is served in a small bowl and is offered either with both hands stretched towards the guest or with the right hand supporting the left elbow. The guest is expected to accept the tea in the same manner, but with sleeves rolled down since it's considered extremely impolite to expose one's wrists while receiving things. In the summer, fermented mare's milk (koumiss) is served instead of tea.

Dos and Don'ts

A list of countryside cultural tips from the Mongolian Tourism Board:

DON'T

• let a post or fence come between you if you are walking with Mongolians
• whistle inside a ger or house belonging to a Mongolian
• let your feet point in the direction of the altar (which will be on the north side) when sitting in a ger
• let people walk over your outstretched legs
• tread on the threshold of the ger when you walk over it
• lean against a support column, a piece of furniture, or a wall of the ger (they represent stability and a link with heaven)
• stamp out a fire or put water or any rubbish on it; fire is sacred
• walk in front of an older person
• turn your back to the altar and religious objects at the back of the ger
• touch other people's hats (my favourite)
• have long conversations in your own language in front of hosts who don't understand it
• point a knife in the direction of anyone, or touch the hearth with it (the hearth symbolizes ties with ancestors)
• pass anything to a Mongolian with just two fingers
• take food from a plate with your left hand
• spill milk inside a ger
• wave your sleeve, as it is a mark of protest, or extend the little finger of your right hand, as this is a sign of disrespect

DO

• keep your hat on when entering a ger if you are wearing one, but lift it as a sign of greeting
• receive things with your right hand or both hands and ensure that your sleeves are rolled down
• ensure you remove your gloves when shaking hands if you are wearing them
• walk around inside the ger in a clockwise direction
• receive food, a gift, or anything similar from a Mongolian with both hands or with your right hand, supported at the wrist or elbow
• take at least a sip or nibble of the delicacies offered
• pick up things with an open hand, palm facing upwards
• grab the hand of a Mongolian if you have accidentally kicked their feet
• sit cross-legged with your feet underneath you
• leave a small gift, other than money, for your hosts