Apple Pie: good.
Hot apple pie: good.
McDonalds Hot Apple Pie: the foodstuff of Satan.

I have no idea how they manage to superheat the filling in those pies to approximately the surface temperature of the Sun. I can state with near-certainty that at least 90% of the world's spontaneous combustion cases were caused by eating said pie.

Usual chain of events:
1: "Oh, i think i'll have a Hot Apple Pie"
2: "This looks gorgeous"
3: Head bursts into flames.
I toil beneath the Golden Arches , so I know a thing or two about, well, stuff. Here's some advice about buying the hot apple pies we sell.

First of all, the apple pies are kept in a metal box near the cash registers. It's green, has a photo of aforementioned pies on it, and, just in case you forget, has "HOT APPLE PIES" scrawled across its front. It's pretty difficult to miss. See if there are any pies sitting at the bottom of this box.

If the box isn't visible/obscured for whatever reason, or if you can't see any pies sitting at the bottom, ask the guy/girl serving you (I'm one of those guys, actually, no kitchen work for me) if there are "any apple pies at the moment". He'll/she'll go over and check, and provide you with an answer.

This may all seem a bit difficult and pointless, but it's for your own good. If you order an apple pie and there are none ready, it takes the back crew (the ones in the kitchen) eight minutes to cook a new batch of them.

Eight minutes. Is a little battered hunk of Granny Smith apple really worth eight minutes of your precious, precious time? Think of it, you'll be standing there for 480 seconds while the guy/girl who served you gingerly says "it won't be long, sir/m'am" every minute or so.

One...two...three...four hundred and eighty...

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