May 3, 2006

If you were not already aware, before waking up this morning you dreamed that you were losing your mind. Your dream was all too real to live with the memory, so you forgot it, promptly. But as is the habit with bad dreams and nightmares, around a quarter of four, in that moment when your mind starts to make the switch between focusing on your job and realizing that soon you will be freed from your cubical – right then, at that moment, when your heart starts to jump up in you, becoming light, that is when it happens.

At first it’s just a flash - a vision - but it’s enough to bring that floating heart crashing down. Then you remember a scene, then it all comes crashing...

My eyes won't focus and I wont force them.
Even if they could I probably wouldn't let them.
I'm tired of seeing nothing but visions
Of how my life grows increasingly boring
With every night that I sit alone.

I'm twenty-four
And the most exciting things I do
Involve papier-mâché and carpet samples,
Alone at my dinning room table,
Picking my kid sister up from a date.
I haven't been out in over three years.

For one solid hour every night
I try to stare at the wall without blinking.
To see if I can do it;
And to see if I can forget where I am.
Sometimes it starts to change color,
first pink and then blue,
Then sometimes it opens up into a valley;
I watch children play hide-n-go-seek,
They wont let me in because I'm too old.

And there's some nights at two a.m.
When I get so fed up I decide to do something about it.
I get in my truck and I drive away from here
Until I can't keep my eyes open any longer;
When I wake up I'm back in the same bed.
I was either dreaming or I'm tethered to this sorrow.

After it all comes rushing back to you, you try to forget it like you had forgotten it before. You sing yourself a song and smile a false smile; but some part of you knows that every time you force a smile onto your face something in you dies and you will be able to truly smile one less time. There’s no way to forget it.

"AHHHHHHHHHH," I’m screaming,
"I'm dying, I'm dying!"
"Iknowit'sslowlybutit'sstillSCary!"

Numb…

Once again I’ve grown numb to the events happening thousands and thousands of miles away. Just another blip on the radar as Tom and Katie pimp their new baby and their beliefs on us.

Wait wait wait! What about Brad Pitt and Angie? How dare they go to some off the wall place like Bumfucked, Egypt to have their kid. Don’t they know the entire world wants to know?

Selfish pricks…

Hey, anybody taking bets on who’s getting the boot on American Idol tonight? I mean, after all, “America has spoken”.

Sometimes I wish it would just shut the fuck up.

Or at least speak about something important.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch in Iraq, shit is still blowing up left and right. We can watch movies about stuff like that until the cows come home but sorry Big Fella, can’t show you on the news.

Folks that have snuck over the borders and that have lived here for years searching for a better way of life have been threatened with eviction by some of the more insane types amongst us.

Our forefathers would be disgusted…

I’m disgusted…

You should be too…

What songs will be written
about the war in Iraq?
About those who went over
and never came back?

What needs to be said
about the people who died
for WMD’s
and maybe some misguided pride?

And what needs to be told
about those who were maimed
So we could see on tv
The fall of Saddam Hussein

And what needs to be seen
about those missing limbs?
Or is it too ugly a picture
to be shown on a whim?

And then what about those
that come back in one piece?
Will they ever be with us
and once again feel relief?

Yes, once it was “Mission Accomplished,”
or at least so they thought.
But there are many among us
That just couldn’t be bought

And now the tide’s finally turning,
or so they say in the press.
Outside the people are speaking
and they want their redress.

But their voices seem mute
to those who claim wiser.
We must stay the course
All “Hail to the Kaiser!”

"There were no mistakes,
at least none we’ll admit!
Now go about your business
and don’t give us no shit!"

"Because we’ll always be there
with our ears to the wires
So watch what you say
and don’t call us liars."

"Don’t you see we’re at war
and this is no time to retract
something so vital
as the Patriot Act?"

"It’s in the countries best interests
to give us more power
and cede some of your own
to those in the tower."

"Because we know what’s best
for you and for yours
and don’t you think otherwise
or else we’ll just close our doors"

"You'll be out on your ass
in the blink of an eye
without even a pot you can piss in
so don't even try."

There has been a lot of activity lately on the Religion is not benign, nor does it provoke more good than harm node, so much so that an editor actually locked it.

I think the entire node, the entire debate can at the same time be summed up by and dismissed by this simple statement (Orange Julius kind of says it but not as simply and succinctly as I'm going to put it):

There always has, and always will be, Assholes.

There are Catholics that are assholes. There are Muslims that are assholes. There are Atheists that are assholes. There are agnostics who are assholes. Yes there are even Buddhist assholes. There are multi-millionaire corporate executives who are assholes. There are poor people who are assholes. There are black assholes, white assholes, hispanic assholes... short people, blind people, deaf people, tall people, Americans, Britons, Canadians, Australians... well, you get the drift. Assholes are everywhere. As long as there are people, there are assholes.

Sure. I agree with what George Carlin says in his bit on the Ten Commandments (which is supremely funny) that more people have been killed in the name of God than any other reason, even if you created some magical ray gun that would blast away all religion from the face of the Earth, there'd still be assholes.

What can we do about this problem? Nothing. You can eliminate all the assholes. But rest assured, more will be born in due time. Besides that would suck because we all have to poop. Oh, nevermind. And plus, we can't concretely all agree on what an asshole is. No matter how good you think you are, there's probably somebody out there who thinks you're an asshole. Granted, the chances of this go down the nicer you are.

Apropos of absolutely nothing I've said above, today is my wife's 30th birthday. Happy birthday, love. The poor women's getting old I guess. /me ducks! I get to make fun of her for a month and a half until I myself turn 30.