Also known as the Lemonade Fast; developed by Stanley Burroughs in 1941.
Every good orthorexic has done this one. At its basic level it consists of the following:
- Salt water flush in the morning.
- Lemonade all day.
- Herbal laxative tea at night.
- Nothing else. (It’s a FAST.)
Repeat for at least 10 (consecutive) days, or longer with supervision.
Recipes and Special Instructions
Salt water flush: Dissolve 2 tsp. unrefined, non-iodized sea salt in a quart of warm or room-temperature filtered spring water. Drink in the morning. Massaging the colon is recommended – as far as I can tell this means rubbing your tummy, as if to say, Mmmmm, salt water! Many practitioners refer to the SWF as the oral enema, but that seems nastier than need be. And calling it the SWF, while common on Master Cleanser message boards, is also kind of gross.
Lemonade: Mix 2 tbsp. freshly-squeezed organic lemon juice, 2 tbsp. Grade B or C organic maple syrup, a generous pinch of organic cayenne, and 12 oz. of filtered spring water – room temperature or warm. Drink every hour or two, or whenever you feel hungry. Increase the cayenne as much as taste allows. Grade A syrup is not recommended, as it is overly refined. SIDE NOTE: When you have a cold, or a hangover, add a shot of good whiskey to this lemonade and call it grog. It’s good stuff.
Herbal laxative tea: Senna, mixed with peppermint, if desired, to mask the bitterness. Drink one cup before bedtime.
Easing off the Fast
EASE off that fast, man. Bingeing on cheesecake and lasagne will hurt you later. Stick with juice and vegetable broth for a few days, gradually adding solids (salads, fruits, steamed veggies).
Many people include psyllium and bentonite, known in Master Cleanser circles as The P&B Shake. Mix 1 tbsp. psyllium husks and 1 tbsp. liquid bentonite with 8 oz. of the purest water possible. Shake or stir vigorously and drink immediately, before it congeals into an extremely unappetizing Jello-clay. The bentonite loosens plaque and mucus from the walls of the colon, and the insoluble fiber of psyllium (AKA Nature’s Broom) whisks it away. Or so they say.
Dry skin brushing: You can use any natural-fiber skin brush. Before bathing, brush your (dry) skin in long strokes towards your heart. This helps the skin get rid of impurities, presumably. It certainly does feel good. Don’t dry brush your face, though.
Colonics and enemas: You’re on your own here. Ugh.
Probiotics: After fasting, eat yogurt, kefir, unpasteurized sauerkraut, or other acidophilus/lactobacillus source to replenish friendly bacteria in your digestive tract.
And So On: There are myriad detox products for you to spend your money on if you desire, and lots of people out there who would love to sell them to you.
Purported Benefits of the Fast
Cleansing of digestive system and internal organs. Detoxification from various…toxins. Relief from (or cure of) conditions such as candidiasis, cancer, multiple sclerosis, arthritis, allergies, infertility, migraines, colitis, alcoholism, asthma, etc., etc., etc., because there is no disease except toxemia, you know. Lowered cholesterol. Weight loss. Clearer thinking. Increased immune function. Overcoming addictions to crappy food and cigarettes. Improved digestion. Removal of incredibly disgusting impacted plaque, mucus and putrefying fecal matter from the gut – described as being black and hard as tire rubber. Personal transformation. Enlightenment.
Headache, “butt pee,” acne, halitosis, weakness, aches, nausea, intense cravings for food, anal chafing, constipation, abdominal pain, fatigue, runny nose, body odor, ability to smell savory goodness being cooked several blocks away, weight loss, being mocked, feeling foolish, getting left out of fun social dinners, etc., etc. Note that most of these side effects are said to be evidence of the body’s detoxification process.
Not suitable for people who are pregnant, nursing, recovering from surgery, immune-compromised, diabetic, epileptic, seriously underweight, or skeptical. Not for children. (Duh+Duh=Duh.)
The fast went easier for me when I included stevia powder (mixed with the various drinks to make them taste better), green tea, warm ground flaxseed slurry, orange juice, multivitamins, turkey on rye, and barbecued pork. Hey, YMMV.
I don’t recommend this or any fast to anyone for any reason other than entertainment purposes.
Further Reading, Pro and Con