And so the deed is done…
After much soul searching and consternation, I’ve finally decided to throw caution to the wind and tender my resignation at my place of work. Twenty-five years of sitting in a cubicle environment are enough to drive most anybody over the edge. I sometimes feel as if I have become the color of light brown and I blend into my surroundings so well that camouflage isn't necessary. It's as if I've become as numb and unfeeling as the off-white plastic of my desktop.
I don’t think anybody ever wants to be a Senior Business Systems Analyst when they grow up. There's really no glamor in it and when people ask me what it is I do and I tell them, they just shake their heads and still don't understand. Requirements gathering, analysis, documenting, testing and re-testing just don't seem to shine a light of interest in most peoples eyes.
Thank God that those in my profession don't have one of those conventions where people from all around the country get together and talk trade. The ensuing boredom would impede progress for the next decade or so.
I don't know how people fall into this line of work. I don't think it's a chosen profession or some type of mystical calling. They just happen to fall in that direction on their way to somewhere else and spiral headfirst into it. It looks like I’ve finally come out the other end.
It wasn't easy. It took a lot of looking in the mirror and truth be told, I probably could’ve kept this gig forever. But after the year I had last year, well, lets just say that there had to be something “more”. I found myself at the proverbial crossroads and asking myself just what had I accomplished so far. I also found myself dreading the daily grind. I noticed it, my friends noticed it and most importantly of all, Anna noticed it. I couldn’t keep coming up with answers to the question of “What’s wrong Dad?” and I couldn’t keep lying. It’s not my style.
Now to answer the question about what it is that I’m going to do…
The answer is that I don’t know.
I know that I’m going to take at least a month off from doing just about anything.
I know spring is just around the corner and the yard hasn’t gone away and it needs some work. I know there’s a park nearby with a track where Anna can bust out her roller blades in the evening and I can get some much needed exercise. I know there are some volunteer opportunities at some local charity organizations and hospitals that are always looking for some people. I know my golf clubs have been whispering to me from down in the basement telling me that they thought it was time to go out and play. I know that some rooms in the house need a new paint job and I know I have the time to do it. After that, I’ll just play it by ear.
All in all, I probably have enough resources to last me close to a year if I budget myself wisely and nothing rears its ugly head. Lets hope that it doesn’t.
Now I might finally be able to answer the question of just what it is I’m going to be when I grow up.
Wish me luck as I wander off into the void…
I feel better than I have in years.