warning: stoned ramblings
Something occured to me
as I was struggling with an insatiable hunger
and a shear laziness
of not wanting to get up from my computer to satisfy it.
I was trying to imagine the most apt way to satisfy such an enormous need for food... good food. This is one of those girth
y, meaty hungers, not some hunger satisfied by sweet and pleasant foods... definitely no fruits or vegetables needed
. I need meat
. The normal meat selection will not do this time. Cow and Chicken have suffered enough torment
, and pork too, if only to make Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger
s or the morning sausage links
. You've got a few other meat options, such as Lamb
, but they are not so popularly excepted.
Back to the point
, something to satisfy this hunger. As I sifted through thoughts of all of the large appetizing
meats I've come across in my day, only one thing popped into my mind... ok, two. One being a big ass roasted turkey leg
. But the other, much greater answer being.... one of those gigungus
rib-looking things that knocked over Fred Flintstone
's foot car in the intro to The Flintstones
suggested it was brontosaurus
ribs, and it seemed right. I recall freddie puttin away some brontosaurus burgers on a few episode
s, so it isn't hard to believe he favored their ribs, too. Fred Flintstone was an eater
, lets face it. He, himself, was going to eat that brontosaurus rack 'o ribs, while Wilma
and Betty threw up in the bathroom
so that they could wear their size 0
would just laugh at Fred the glutton
, and try not to think about things too much, because he may just snap
. The beer
helped. But I'm getting away from myself, sorry.
Then I got to thinking
, if the prehistoric
age was anything like the people of today
, they probably had specific tastes when it came to meat. If everyone liked to eat Dinosaur, then it's eventually curtains
for them. You'd think they could hold their own, but they were actually very peaceful
creatures. If they werent, they'd have killed the first guy to try to turn em into a record player or a dino-crane.
Since the technology was basicly fire
and the wheel
, with the occasional elephant
vacuum cleaner, or the cloths pin bird, it would be impossible
to mass produce that kind of dino meat
the demand of the public. Eventually , they had to know that well would run dry. They didn't preserve species back then. There was no WWF
. Only the strong survive! So basicly we're lookin at genocide
for the sake of the biggest, tastiest meat rack
I think I've lost my appetite.
I'm gonna go write an apology to
all those cows and chickens mothers.