I am whatever you say I am.
Unlike Eminem, I'm not famous, and it doesn't matter what you say, there aren't enough of you saying it to make me something. I define myself. But I believe we see ourselves in the reflection of others. Let me just define myself for you...
I am living proof there is no correlation between intelligence and ambition.
I'm that kid in the corner. Think I'm gonna change up my style just to fit in?
I do NOT have filters, I do understand other people do, it's only for their protection I censor myself.
I like to talk about being bi-polar. No clue what that really means. I like the idea I learned in my honors pysch class in college: In psychology we are less concerned if something is true, than if something is useful. Is labeling someone a certain way useful? Does treating them the way we've treated others with that label help?
This woman I know posted a test that is supposed to measure how Autistic you are. I scored almost twice as much as she did. So now I'm Autistic.
I do label myself as socially awkward. This confuses a lot of people because I've also labeled myself as a sociopath, and I don't usually feel awkward. I don't feel a lot of things people want me to feel.
I am a comedian. I identify with a lot of comedians. Things they say resonate within me. "I just have a really low tolerance for bullshit." --George Carlin
I have said my dad wanted me to be Jerry Seinfeld, he should have tried for Larry David.
I'm a guy that usually only writes one draft. I'm a guy who loves interaction. I have the emotional needs of a woman and the sexual needs of a man.
Do you know why people hate me? I've had it explained to me before.
I am a college drop out.
I was Valedictorian of my high school. I quoted Billy Crystal in an interview I did in high school about being Valedictorian. Mr. Crystal said that he wasn't a class clown, he was more a class comedian. The class clown is the guy that runs out of the field at halftime naked, the class comedian is the guy that got him to do it. They attributed the quote to me. Fucking journalists.
I am foul mouthed. I am irreverent. I am blasphemous. I am a rabid atheist.
You see how quickly the "I label myself"s drop away? Soon we just become. I am becoming.
I am too logical. I can be cruel, but most of the time I know why. I'm a good read of people. I ask the right questions. Did I mention I can't stand bullshit? I can't stand lying. I can't stand people pretending it is okay when something is eating at them. I can smell their wounds.
I am a gamer.
I am oversexed (or maybe my friends (who I'm filtering out for them) are just jealous).
I know how to make women come, or lie to me, you be the judge....please.
I am adopted. I am not an orphan, I'm not sorry if I laugh at you, it's not that hard to figure out.
I'm really smart. I figure it only takes 18 or so years of telling someone that before it will stick forever. A beautiful woman compared me to Will Hunting. Is she fucking serious? I'm not a prodigy, people. I have a good memory, I'm good with rules, I am at least some command of the English language.
I am cheap.
I am confrontational. I'm abrasive. My tongue is sharp and acidic. I am a cocksucker. I am an asshole. "We are all assholes sometimes." Your husband said that, have him call me again, it was nice.
I am funny. I am a flirt.
I am a teetotaler. Most drunks don't know what that means.
I don't think I'm lonely. I'm much much worse than that. It *IS* like Good Will Hunting, only he could take comfort in his gorilla buddies. I need constant entertainment and games and sex and conversation or I get bored. Yes, bored.
It's not that you are boring. Oh Shit, no. I want so desperately to hear about everything about you. I WANT to see what you think is "the best porn EVER," I WANT to see pictures of your family and know how you feel about them, and oh dear sweet hell do I want to know what turns you on. Well, what turns you women on. I pretty much have the men figured out. They are like me, only possibly less so.
I am a whiny bitch. I'm not sure how I almost forgot.
I'm tall. I am 6'3". I have soft hands. Soft like strippers get excited I'm "independently wealthy." Waiting tables is trying to change that. I burn my hands a lot. I have nice eyes, beautiful eyes, deep eyes. My eyes are not brown. I've heard them called most other things.
I am white. I am Polish. I am 36.
I am good with lyrics. I am good with words. I am a poor speller. My grammar is okay.
I am one of the best Netrunner players in the world.
I talk too much, I want too much, I want to know everything. I'd give up my body and the chance to interact with all of you just so I can spend a lifetime of having questions answered.
I am so fucking tired. But I've convinced people I'm not to be admired.