i am a largehearted person.
what does it mean? i have heart all over the place so i breathe better and spell worse
there is heart up my nose even, up my river
river river, i miss words, i have alzheimer like my slow-dying grandmother
i come into a room and i am largehearted, i am all swollen up in places and i feel everything saltier than usual. chairs are salty screechy as someone drags them to a garden
garden is green and wet
i am largehearted and fat and gigantic and my tongue makes it hard for me to breathe so hard. a boy (mine) comes in and is disgusted by my fat and swollen self. what did i do? why am i so ugly now? i wasn't ugly before. he didn't pay for this. but i am swollen because of my heart and it's a secret and he doesn't understand, so angry. he is bipolar.
some sort of song comes on and i go hide inside a furniture store from bipolar boy. he hates. he hates me. he wants to cut me all over my swollen hands to see if salty bathwater spills out.
i am inside the store and i almost fall inside. i almost fall on the baby, i am too large to be here. sorry baby. sorry. furniture sorry. you smell like leather baby.
i feel too much why? i decide to grow a shield but that's impossible. i decide to cut my brain so i forget how to feel then i grow a hard shell on my skin. i sit and let myself fall into an earthy rich pool. there i grow leaves beautiful, graceful and still. i watch myself and i water these leaves.