From sci.tech, posted by David DeMers:

make.tenure.FAST

Dear Fellow Scientist:
This letter has been around the world at least seven 
times. It has been to many major conferences. Now it has 
come to you. It will bring you good fortune. This is true 
even if you don't believe it. But you must follow these 
instructions: 

- include in your next journal article the citations 
below. 

- remove the first citation from the list and add a 
citation to your journal article at the bottom. 

- make ten copies and send them to colleagues. 

Within one year, you will be cited up to 10,000 times! 
This will amaze your fellow faculty, assure your 
promotion and improve your sex life. In addition, you 
will bring joy to many colleagues. Do not break the 
reference loop, but send this letter on today. 

Dr. H. received this letter and within a year after passing 
it on she was elected to the National Academy of 
Sciences. Prof. M. threw this letter away and was denied 
tenure. In Japan, Dr. I. received this letter and put it 
aside. His article for Trans. on Nephrology was rejected. 
He found the letter and passed it on, and his article was 
published that year in the New England Journal of 
Medicine. In the Midwest, Prof. K. failed to pass on the 
letter, and in a budget cutback his entire department 
was eliminated. This could happen to you if you break the 
chain of citations. 

1. Miller, J. (1992). Post-modern neo-cubism and the wave 
theory of light. Journal of Cognitive Artifacts, 8, 113-
117. 

2. Johnson, S. (1991). Micturation in the canid family: 
the irresistable pull of the hydrant. Physics 
Quarterly, 33, 203-220. 

3. Anderson, R. (1990). Your place or mine?: an empirical 
comparison of two models of human mating behavior. 
Psychology Yesterday 12, 63-77. 

4. David, E. (1994). Modern Approaches to Chaotic 
Heuristic Optimization: Means of Analyzing Non-Linear 
Intelligent Networks with Emergent Symbolic 
Structure. (doctoral dissertation, University of 
California at Santa Royale El Camino del Rey Mar Vista by-
the-sea). 

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