Mad scientists aren't necessarily evil; they're just crazy. Some, like Flipping Hades Terwilliger, just want to make computers out of avocados. Is that so wrong?

Researchers, doctors, and various scientific types who delve too deeply into Things Man Was Not Meant To Know. They create hideous and ungodly monsters. They perform unnatural experiments on innocent people. They seek to conquer or destroy Earth. They try to make friends with obvious alien menaces. They are prone to fits of maniacal laughter, and they prefer to wear white lab coats. They rarely bathe or comb their hair. People laughed at them in University, but they'll show them! They'll show them ALL!

I'll probably die in my laboratory;
I love dangers of every category
Scalpels for slicing and dicing,
Poisons that smell so enticing
Machines that maim
and liquids that flame
I hope my end will be beautifully gory.

If my brain is fine (tho my body a mess),
I want my gray matter studied, I confess
So pack it up tight
and ship it overnight
to MIT via Priority Express.

Should the postal people fail,
And lose my mind in the mail,
It wouldn't be anything new.
For years, the postman's blown
my letters into the Twilight Zone,
and it's driven me mad, 'tis true.

But my ghost won't need to groan
If they abandon my carton
Under a desk in Wharton,
They'll be shocked to find
That my piece of mind
Will raise a stink on its own.

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