I don't know 'bout y'all, but every dorm I've ever lived in had at least one Mad Crapper episode a year, which suggests that a number of college students should have never been promoted out of junior high.

Here's what a Mad Crapper does: he gets together with some equally moronic friends and consumes a large quantity of alcohol to build up his courage (I assume they use alcohol. I've never heard of anyone wanting to pull idiotic pranks after smokin' the ganja). After they're significantly plastered, they go out and leave piles of shit in hallways, stairwells, and various public places in the dorm. Charming, eh?

Why do they do this? I really don't know. I doubt it's anything you go bragging about, either to your friends ("Dude! I just left dookey on the stairs!" "You did that?! I stepped in that, you fucko!" WHAM!) or your significant other ("Hey, baby. I just took a dump in the hallway, and I'm ready for love." WHAM!). Unsurprisingly, the Powers That Be take a dim view of the enterprise, too, and if they find out, they can make your life a Living Hell ("Help! This cop is beating me up!" "Yeah, 'cause this creep was shitting in the hall!" "Carry on, officer!" -- or even worse: "Sorry, perv. For this, we'll just have to call your parents.").

This sort of dorkoid behavior is usually carried out by male students, though there was one girl in the dorm I once lived in who peed in front of her neighbor's door in front of witnesses. If she thought they'd be cool about it, she was dead wrong. They were horrified and ratted her out immediately. Some things are just plain beyond the pale, even for college students.

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