I want candy
bubblegum or taffy
Skip to the sweet shop with my sweetheart Sandy
Got my pennies saved so I'm a sugar daddy
I'm her Hume Cronyn she's my Jessica Tandy
I want candy


-from "I Want Candy" by MC Pee Pants


MC Pee Pants is episode #9 of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and feature character of the episode, voiced by MC Chris of Sealab 2021. The episode first aired in North America on May 19, 2002 on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block. The premise of the episode revolves around Meatwad's obsession with the music of MC Pee Pants, particularly the song "I Want Candy". It's an obsession that drives Master Shake to break his guitar and threaten to beat Meatwad with the neck. Frylock tries to chill the situation out by getting Meatwad into classical music and by providing headphones but neither solve the problem. There's some obvious influence going on since their next-door neighbor Carl, who has the song stuck in his head from Meatwad playing it so much, seems to be hopped up on jawbreakers all day. In a ploy to get more candy, Meatwad goes trick or treating as Elvis. When arriving at Carl's house he notices a soaked and dirty pallet of chocolate bunnies left over from Easter. Carl got them from the dumpster...or was it the warehouse?

Get yo' ass beat, nasty
Do it till yo' dad sees, embarrass yo' whole family
Just because he came between a kid and his candy
I need candy
Any kind'll do
Don't care if it's nutritious or FDA Approved
It's gonna make me spaz like 5 cats on booze
A hyperactive juice that only I can produce


-from "I Need Candy"


However, things seem to be amiss with MC Pee Pants, and not only with the sweets addiction, insomnia, and marathon car-washing visited upon Carl and Meatwad. When looking over the lyrics of Pee Pants' latest song "I Need Candy", Frylock (the only real detective of the Aqua Teens) notices these ominous words.

I'll use a giant drill
Bore it straight into hell
Releasin ancient demons from a
sleeper of a spell
So they can walk upon the earth
And get resituated
And hock the diet pills
MC Pee Pants done created


In plain speak, if the lyrics are true, MC Pee Pants plans to drill a hole to hell to release demons and use them to bring forth a global diet pill pyramid scheme. Even more suspicious is the fact the fact that an address is given in the same song.

Mess up the mix
Mix up the mess
Come on down, yo, here's the address
It's 6-1-2 Wharf Avenue
6-1-2 Wharf Avenue

Amazingly, Carl knows exactly where that is. It's a warehouse, next door to a strip club known as Melon Shakers. So Carl and Meatwad head there, and discover a giant drill, hooked up to christmas tree stands that have been fashioned into hats laying on lawn chairs. And MC Pee Pants appears, or actually a cardboard cutout of him taped to a popsicle stick. His excuse for appearing smaller in person is that he had a "strizoke" in his "brizain". He then talks Meatwad into putting on a "hat" that looks suspiciously like a christmas tree stand and sitting on a "throne" that looks suspiciously like a lawn chair, but Carl won't have any of that until Pee Pants comes down and gives him some candy. Suddenly, MC Pee Pants reveals himself as an 8 foot tall giant spider wearing a disposable diaper and attacks, subduing Carl. Just before activating the giant drill Frylock and Shake burst onto the scene to foil and expose MC Pee Pants' nefarious plans. Pee Pants just wants to fit in, so the Aqua Teens offer to get him a job at a nearby restaurant, Pizza Potamus. Only it's vacated, and not only that, it's a building that's ready for detonation. It's too late for MC Pee Pants though, as the building is blown up and he goes with it. To hell I might add, and Meatwad only hopes that he finds people that understand him. There's only speed metal in hell, though. Yes it's bizarre, but it's brilliant in it's bizarrity...

Updated July 1, 2002 - lots of exposition

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