From Goats: The Comic Strip by Jonathan Rosenberg, May 17th, 1999. This, as far as I'm concerned, is the definitive version of the Litany Against Beer. Accept no imitations.

JON:

Toothgnip and Diablo have your girlfriend tied up and oiled down.

PHILLIP:

I must drink beer.
Beer is the mind killer.
Beer is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my beer.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
When the beer is gone, there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

JON:

I'll be hiding in the corner.

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