Whether you are a frequent watcher or just an occasional voyeur, you may have noticed several qualities that movies on Lifetime and Porn have in common.

1. Both frequently feature stories about women with problems. For example, Lifetime is showing "A Mother's Testimony" and Spice is showing "Taboo 7: Imprisoned Temptation".

In "A Mother's Testimony," Kenny is released from prison and wants to begin a new life. But then Warren, a prison buddy of his, shows up. Soon afterward, Kenny and Warren are suspected of murder, and Kenny's mother confronts them separately. Kenny accuses Warren, but Warren has proof that Kenny is the killer. Confused and torn by a mother's love for her child, she must face up to the worst about her son.

Meanwhile in "Taboo 7: Imprisoned Temptation," Kenny is released from prison and wants to begin a new life. But then Warren, a prison buddy of his, shows up. Soon afterward, Kenny and Warren are suspected of murder, and Kenny's mother confronts them separately. Kenny and his mother engage in an incestous affair before he accuses Warren, but Warren has proof that Kenny is the killer in the form of a nine inch love sausage that Kenny's mother cannot resist. Confused and torn by a mother's love and lust for her child and her desire for Warrens throbbing man-gina, she must face up to the worst about her son in a threeway guarenteed to steam your windows.

2. Lifetime movies and Porn almost always use the same actors and actresses over and over. "Not Without My Son," "Scent of Danger," and "School of Life," all feature Sally Fields as a housewife faced with the most difficult and dramatic moments of her life where she must make a decision that could affect her entire family for years to come. "Not Without my Son, His Best Friend and our Neighbors Sexy Schoolgirl Daughter," "Interview with a Vibrator," and "BiSexual School Girl Vixens from Venus," also feature Sally Fields as a housewife faced with the most difficult and dramatic positions of the night where she must face anal and bukkake in a way that could affect her need for light bondage and facials for years to come. All of the above titles also feature Stephen St. Croix (aka "The Vivid Guy")

3. The plots for Lifetime movies and Porn usually make no sense. In "My Daughter, My Own" a mother must face the trials and tribulations of her daughters anorexia while the daughter becomes obsessed with her friend and their weight loss. They learn a valuable lesson about not getting hit by cars when the daughters friend is struck and killed by a car at the climax of the movie. Whereas in "Smokescreen," two female friends learn lessons of trust and understanding when one accidently mistakes the other of murder and has lots of sex on the friends bed while investigating pictures of dogs and feather boas.

Ultimately, despite their similarities, porn tends to be far more entertaining to watch than any Lifetime movie. While a Lifetime movie may make you re-examine the dramas of your own life, learn valuable lessons about anorexia and not getting hit by cars, and realize that men are always evil, porn gives you something to whack off too.

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