For those of you who are
experienced in the art of
sex and all its forms, this writeup will sound
redundant because it is not for you. In fact, it is your
inspiration that has made this writeup possible. Now, for all of you inexperienced women this article may help
spice up your life just a bit. That is, of course, if you are
permitting.
Warning: if the words "
penis," "
clitoris" and "
masturbation" make you even the tiniest bit
uncomfortable then you must read on in an
attempt to
overcome these
fears.
In my experience with talking to most women, the phrase "I had an orgasm" is seldom heard. In fact, the word orgasm is often used by women when talking about men. If you can relate to this, then let me introduce you to a very special friend with whom you need to be better acquainted: your clitoris.
You know, that little ball of tissue that protrudes from your vaginal lips when aroused? You might want to name her (mine is named Sheera, and she's my best friend). Now let me ask you something. How often do you hang out with your clitoris? How often do you allow others to hang out with your clitoris? Not nearly enough, I bet.
I have to take this time to commend guys. I sincerely find their continuous efforts at pleasing themselves remarkable and highly impressive. Their arduous determination should serve as a model for the way in which we should all behave. I realize it is widely accepted for men, but not women, to be sexually promiscuous. This is made evident by the prevalence of male orgasms and lack of female orgasms. This, however, doesn't have to be the case.
Women are more independent today then they have ever been! So why aren't we having frequent orgasms yet? This obviously has something to do with society's norms. Unfortunately, the female anatomy has not become a common topic for discussion. Sure, we hear about the penis and even the vagina all the time. The only problem is that while sex can give a man an orgasm, it doesn't really do it for a woman. Yes ladies, the key to an orgasm does not lie in the penis. It lies in the clitoris.
For those of you not familiar with the clitoris, I'll let you in on a nice little secret. The clitoris is the female equivalent to the penis. It's made up of the same tissue and it has the same nerve endings. The difference between the two – and ladies, you are going to love this – is that the clitoris has a more concentrated area of nerve endings, making it a very sensitive and highly erotic pleasure zone.
How is it that we, as women, have such a powerful sexual tool literally right under our noses (by about two feet) and we still complain about how our last orgasm was July of the prior year? We can't solely rely on the act of sex – no matter what position – as our only source of sexual stimulation.
While sex can be a highly pleasurable experience, despite the lack of orgasms, it's not our final destination. If you are still waiting for the elusive orgasm brought on by a penis or vibrator, you might be waiting a long time. The vaginal orgasm, though a nice fantasy, is exactly that: a fantasy. The reason we were even led to believe that we could achieve an orgasm through sex in the first place was because men achieve it this way.
As women, our sexuality has thus been defined in terms of what pleases men. No studies were done in the past to discover what it was that pleased a woman. Of course, with much research done on the clitoris today, it has become common knowledge that it is the female's most erogenous zone. In fact, the clitoris is the only organ through which a woman can achieve an orgasm.
If you're not too familiar with the orgasm, you might want to try to experience one on your own. This can be done, like it does rather often for men, through masturbation. Your index and middle finger (a.k.a. your other best friends) are a surefire way to get your juices flowing. They are everywhere you are: in the shower, in your bed, in public bathrooms – yeah, I said that. Masturbation should be a part of everyday, or even bi-daily, life. Women have been sexually repressed far too long. We need to defy the norms set upon us by society, and masturbation is a great form of liberation.
Now that you are better acquainted with your clitoris, you should make sure that your partner becomes better acquainted with it as well. Intimate relationships are about give and take. It is far too easy for a person to fall into the submissive role in relationship. Equality in the bedroom is a very important issue. Your erogenous zones need just as much love as your partner's, so make sure he or she is well acquainted with your clitoris. Of course, if you enjoy the submissive role, more power to you.
Orgasms with a partner can be brought on in two different ways. The first is through oral sex. This is a great technique because it allows you to relax and let your mind wander while your partner is pleasuring you. The second is through clitoral stimulation during sex. While your partner thrusts a penis or dildo inside you, have him or her rub your clitoris.
You can also choose to stimulate your own clitoris, which can turn your partner on and add to his or her experience. Of course, just knowing how to orgasm is not nearly enough. Sure, a purely physical orgasm can feel great, but there can be so much more to an orgasm. The more sexually aroused you are prior to your orgasm, the better it will be. You can heighten your level of arousal with many different techniques.
Whether you enjoy a good spanking, a few filthy words here and there or the doggy-style position, there are people and stores that can help you. I know that for some, such ideas may seem risqué, but if you really want have a good sex life, I strongly suggest exploring these options. It is understandable why women today are still very timid about sex. Society has placed a big taboo on female sexuality in the past, resulting in a lot of female sexual repression today. However, we are now living in a world where sex is a headlining issue and where the taboos on female sexuality are diminishing. This works only because more and more women are defying society's norms and instating their own. An increasing number of women are becoming sexually liberated and this should empower still more women to do the same.
Remember, the orgasm is only one form of liberation. Do not rely on the orgasm as your only source of sexual pleasure. When you focus on the final effect of any sexual experience, you run the risk of rushing past or denying yourself all the more subtle pleasures along the way. All those subtle pleasures can add to your orgasm. If you just take the time to handcuff your partner to the bedpost or dress up in that Wonder Woman costume, you can turn sex into an adventure.
The orgasm is a very important tool. It adds to our happiness as well as our sanity. Granted, for some, it is still a very new aspect of life, or even one not quite discovered yet, but once you become more comfortable with the act, your sexual experience will be that much better. Women, the clitoris is the greatest gift evolution ever gave us and because of society we don't use it nearly enough. It is high time we started setting our own standards rather than allowing a society do it for us.