Once a millenium,
a chosen one is born.
An avenger with fists of fury,
a warrior with blazing speed.
He is known as...
The Chosen One
The Chosen One.............Steve Oedekerk
Master Pain, aka Betty....Lung Fai
Master Tang.....................Chen Hui Lou
Wimp Lo...........................Lau Kar Wing
Ling...................................Tse Ling Ling
I spanked you as a baby, I'll spank you now, bitch.
In the opening sequence
we see a poor Asian
family in their home, a baby
wrapped in a blanket is in the arms of its mother while the father sits at a worn wooden table
with two small children. It's immediately revealed that there is some secret
about the baby that can not be told, as the mother cries over the child that "no one can know about."
Yes, the stereotypical gong noise.
Enter the bad guys
, led by Master Pain who immediately kills the father, then the rest of the family. The baby, the last victim
, is in its cradle as the goons crowd around it. With pudgy arms and mildly freakish backflips and other martial arts
skills a baby shouldn't have, he fends off his would-be assassins
. He is, after all, the chose one.
In a final attempt to dispatch
the powerful baby, Master Pain locks him in the little hut
and sets fire to it. Unfortunately for him, the kid's got some mad leaping skills and out of the inferno
and down a hill he goes..rolling all the way. He ends up rolling to the bottom of a gully
, we are told, and is raised by various rodents. He lives under constant attack from unsuccessful thugs.
I won't ruin the rest of the movie, suffice it to say that the Chosen One is trying to locate his family's killer
. He learns some things about his destiny
and Tonguey, his tongue. That's right...his tongue
has a name. Has a face too, as well as a tongue of it's own. It's kinda bizarre that way.
I'm sure on some planet your style is quite impressive, but your weak link is...this is Earth.
I think the value
of this movie isn't in the story because frankly that's one of the weakest parts of the whole thing. No, the value is in how it was created and in the hilarious lines the freakish characters have.
Instead of trying to recreate the Kung-Fu movie style..they simply took Hu He Shuan Xing
, a 1976 Hong Kong released film, and dubbed over it. That's not all
they did, they completely redid the sound and they used computer tricks and blue screen effects to put new characters in, as well. Kinda like Forest Gump
did. An example of this is that in every scene Steve Oedekerk
is in...well...quite obviously he wasn't in the original movie
. They did the blue screen
...put some little tape
lines for reference points
and spliced him in with the actress
who played Ling or someone else. There's also a robust Asian gentlemen with a boom box
in several scenes...I'm pretty sure when they made the film
in the 70's they didn't have someone dancing in the background to MC Hammer's
themselves are funny to behold. They add so much to the characters, re-formed as they are, that you can't help but laugh
. You have a southern American
accent emerging from one character...a nasal
whine from another. Some are semi Stooge
-like. And of course, they are all several seconds behind the movement of the lips. Even the dog barks 30 seconds after the action. Sometimes there was 3 minutes of action for speech
, and only one word
was actually said. They had fun with this simple little effect
Another thing they did with the sound was add bizarre
noises in. When Wimp
Lo walked...he squeaked. Added to his name, which depicted his character very well.
The characters in the movie are insane
, which adds to the funny
It's bad and it's wrong. It's B'dong.
First you have the Chosen One, who is the only white boy
in the film. Born to Asian parents, in Asia
somewhere (this is to my knowledge never actually pointed out) he by all rights should
be Asian. But he's not. He doesn't even have an accent
. Of course, that could be because he was raised by rodents...
Eeny, meeny, miny mo...I wonder where my glove will go..."
Master Tang is a crude, vulgar, disgusting man. From feeling up a wounded man causing his death
when the wounds won't heal, to shivering martial arts students who fear his Fist
of Power, he's a pervert
through and through. He's also the wise
instructor our hero comes to for advice and help.
But master, I wanted to be the Chosen One some day.
Wimp Lo is the jealous sidekick
-like character. He wanted to be with Ling, he wanted to save the village, he was purposefully trained incorrectly so Master Tang could get a good laugh.
Ling is a twisted sadistic
bitch. Maybe. She's described as being shy, ten seconds before she's exposing
her soft curves to the Chosen One behind Master Tang's back. She also has this tendency to make this high pitched whiny noise
that is apparently unique to her family
A tiny net is a death sentence. It's a net and it's tiny.
Master Pain, who decides early on he should be called Betty by the other characters, is out to get the Chosen One. Why? Cus he's the only one who can defeat the mysterious Evil Council
. Who are they? I'm getting there. Betty has these two metal triangles
embedded in his chest, apparently these are the source of his power. They're very sharp and hurt your hands. Naturally they are difficult to remove.
You must trust the power of the tongue.
W'hoo is this mono-boobed flying chick that gives somewhat sage advice to the Chosen One. We don't know much about her, she's only seen three or four times. But she has one
Oh yes, the Evil Council. We don't know much about them. What do we know? They have a plan
. And it's evil
. It's so evil. It is a bad bad plan that will hurt
many people. That are good.
One of the joys I have in this movie are the well placed advertisements
. They don't even try to hide them. There's a blatant mention of Radioshack
, Neosporin, CNN
and Taco Bell
. I think the Taco Bell ad is my favorite.
And last, but not least, there a few references to other movies made in it. Two of the more blatant are The Matrix
, when the computer generated cow
shoots milk bullets at our hero and he evades them Neo-style. The other is Mu Shu Fasa..the kung-fu Lion King
in the clouds who offers the hero some help, and some smart assed comments.
All in all I think that aside from the general bad rap it gets cus "it looks dumb" it's a pretty funny movie when you actually sit down and watch it.
Official Movie Trailer, http://www.kungpowmovie.com
Kung Pow, the movie