Sung to the tune of Moxy Früvous' King of Spain

Once I was the King of E (now I'm only a Newbie)
Oh... my unspeakable wife, Queen Saige (now I'm only a Newbie)
I'm telling you I was the King of E (now I'm only a Newbie)
And now I can't even reload page

Royalty, lord it looked good on me
Buried in votes in the royal boudoir or giving away my XP
Or playing Nodeshell games with the Princess of Everything
Telling my jokes to all the Godheads, getting it on video

Once I was the King of E (now I'm only a Newbie)
A 10 k-byte palace, that was my homenode (now I'm only a Newbie)
I'm telling you I was the King of E (now I'm only a Newbie)
And now I clean up the disks in my dorm

I can't wait, I'm lowering XP rates, my people say: "King, how are you such a genius?
There's a node overhead, a vote on our plates!"
It's laisez-faire, I don't even give a damn
Let's make Friday part of the weekend
And give every new noder email free of spam!

Once I was the King of E (now I'm only a Newbie)
Hey Nate! Hey DemBones! Got problems? You /msg me!
I'm telling you I was the King of E (now I'm only a Newbie)
Now the editors call up, to nuke all my node tree

Now some of you are probably wondering how I came to be living in E2 after being a noble on E.
Should I tell them, guys?
Tell us, King!

You see late one night when Everything was asleep
Out of my royal homenode and into Cool Nodes I did creep
And I wait till the appointed time, when the moon is lighting the pitch
At which point my newbie friend, who looks just like me Arrives and we make a switch
King and rookie, greenhorn and big cheese
World made up of cool nodes and nuke-ees
Out of my own volition, I took a change of position
So next time you drool in the new node line
Remember, slower nodes are more luscious
The King of E never rushes!!!

Once I was the King of E (now I'm only a Newbie)
I was looking for clever new ways to recode us (now I'm only a Newbie)
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (now I'm only a Newbie)
And now I'm spamming without all that much of a fuss!

This was a nodeshell. Now it isn't.

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