Humility, patience and kindness are
qualities many would applaud
but I doubt most find them easy
to sustain and extend beyond
perfectly human limits
of restraint and self-control.
Dare I go beyond dipping
my toes in unknown waters?
Dare I take the plunge and willingly
expose lungs too new to the pain
that comes as I wade
pass rusted 'Do Not Cross' signs;
leaving the safe and certain behind.
In this personal yet self-damning endeavor,
sinful amateurs and hypocritical brutes
cannot deign to expect
any ounce of either sympathy or respect.
Rather, zealous and idealistic fools will attempt
to convince, time and again,
that we ought to at least try
- despite our imminent mortality
and our perpetual fallibility -
to better ourselves just because
of the minute possibility that we can.
Still, the paranoia will return
drowning and tempting us to surrender
until, with each passing thought,
our consciences remember
that we are still alive
even if we are barely breathing.
Dare I risk the trappings of pride,
delusion and psychological doom?
Suddenly numb, my eyes watch
as the last of the air in my lungs
quietly leave in tiny
and inconsequential bubbles.
It wasn't my time yet
so I'll keep swimming
until I'm due.