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Everything Snapshot

Time: Thu, 6 Jul 2000 00:04:26 GMT
Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) mod_perl/1.21
Number of nodes: 597479 (983 new since July 5, 2000)
Number of users: 16502 (36 new since July 5, 2000)
Number of links: 2266489 (12440 new since July 5, 2000)

Node to user ratio: 36.206 nodes per user
Link to node ratio: 3.793 links per node
Link to user ratio: 137.346 links per user

New Nodes: Users Online (39): [pukesick] [dannye] [moJoe] [Uberfetus] [Dis] [bob the cow] [prole] [Magenta] [davidgentle] [emil greer] [getzburg] [7Ghent] [eric+] [ApoxyButt] [Ninja-Lad] [Halcyon&on] [ansate] [Gamaliel] [robwicks] [dwyn] [Mr.Sparkle] [mrichich] [Aeki] [SPUI] [Kailen] [jes04] [Citizen Aim] [Brain] [zatoichi] [mps] [fluffy] [mailspd] [BigASS] [JungleBoy] [dhahn] [as] [Iseult] [KetsuYa] [trickychix]

JeffMagnus node count: 3820 (0 new since July 5, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience: 6927 (3 more since July 5, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 1.813 XP per node
JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.640%
JeffMagnus node of the day: Everything 2 Civil War

I've always been the observer. I always knew everyone through others, and through watching how they would act, listening to things they'd say not for my ears but for others. I always felt invisible. I didn't care, but in the end it left me knowing a lot of people and no one knowing me. I think that the rest of my life will be like this.

I can't believe that I'll ever stay in anyone's thoughts forever, I'll never be that important to anyone. I'll slip in and out of their mind perhaps, but I won't stay there, not for any length of time. I feel like I've a billion little humans in my head, I can't and never will forget them. A lot of them don't even know I exist (Or do I? Perhaps I'm just a starfruit that has taken on human form.). This may or may not be their fault. All I know is that I would love to be able to hate him, because I feel like this more than ever, that I will never remain an important part of anyone's life. Everyone will forget me, all the nice things they said will stick in my mind and make me cry because they were such utter bullshit.

He's different. I know he is.. and I believe what he says, probably too much so. I won't stop, I don't care to.. but it hurts and I cry sometimes just because I don't want to be what I am for the last person who loved me. (That is, not much at all, it would seem..)

This day has been odd. I sat in the back of my brother's vehicle with my best friend for about 3 hours just talking about anything and everything. It was good, and fun.. but the evening ended strangely and now I'm slipping into the night with feelings of confusion and.. I'm almost lost, but not quite. I can tell him anything, everything, he'd listen and he wouldn't jump to conclusions or judge me. I'd say I wish everyone were like that, but I don't.. I like that there is just one little human who could be what he is for me.

I need to water my plants and clean my room some time soon. Also send letters.. requires walking downtown. Will do. All is well in the world. I can't stay sad for any length of time anymore. This is good, because I don't love my sadness now.. it's more of a burden than anything.

I'm almost 19.. where did the years go? Oh well.. can't say that I have any real regrets.

I'll kiss you, one day.. I know I will, what a dreamy thought. Time for sleep.

E-mail tracy.. e-mail tracy.. (note to self.) heh
15:26 EET

I've spent the last two workdays mostly listening to music and noding synthesizer stuff. (nobody can accuse me of being an XP whore - those writeups always stay between 0 & 1)
The other day I made a breakthrough with my current work assignment. So while my boss is happy about the progress, I'll be able to node on. Next up would be the SSM chips, rest of the equipment from Roland, Sequential and ARP plus a big bunch of Korg products.

Listening to my unfinished Best-of-C64-MD at the moment. The SID chip simply rules, and the classic tunes sound surprisingly organic when mixed with a little chorus and reverb. I have to record the rest of my favorites later tonight.
I just hope MD-walkman will stay intact until monday. The mechanism seems to be quite screwed up, causing numerous random DISC ERR messages and other problems. The warranty hasn't expired yet, so I'll be sending the unit back on monday.

The current plan is to start my big LightWave project this weekend. My intent is to finish it by the start of December, so there is plenty of time. But it will be a tricky one.
This project requires an extremely detailed pine tree model, which needs to keep reasonable detail even when viewed in an extreme close-up, and stay intact with long camera zooms and rotations. There are many ways to do this, but the only one that's truly practical would be to simply do it with polygons. Though a huge poly-count would considerably slow down my feeble PC causing nervous breakdowns and such. A fiber plug-in would be a reasonable option, but the heavy camera movement poses problems, along with huge rendering times. Different image maps could work with still images, but not with the animation. So, I have a lot of testing and planning to do.
In case you were wondering, this project is not work-related. Just your average free-time activity for a single geek like myself.

Track of the day:  Thomas Krome - Woodcarver Remix 1

13:19 BST

Well, this had better be quite quickly typed, as I've got to be somewhere else. But I will write more later on today, around 10:30 BST, when I get back from doing my shift at the petrol station. But suffice to say, I'm pondering now on having a 'real' job, that is something somehow related to what I'll do in later life. No, not the petrol station, the other one. Programming. Well it's a start anyway, some money and something for my CV, finally.

Somehow my creativity has been robbed. I can't really think of solutions to stuff, or at least I couldn't yesterday. Everything's nice and organised, apart from the things that aren't, but there's no... creative feeling to things at all right now. Like this summer's just me biding my time, making some money, and I'll go back to living a life when I'm back at uni. Or at least, when I go to India in September.

00:24 BST - July 7, 2000

Well, today's sort of over, I suppose. I was for some reason very creative while working today. I was not thinking about what I was doing - it doesn't really require that much thought - but instead about what I'm about to code. I accumulated a small pile of post-it notes, which were the conveniently available media at the time. I'm off to code now; I think I might just code till sunrise.

Check equipment: computer, code to bash on, post-it notes to decipher, paper to doodle on, caffeine source, music - all there. Now, the hard part: post this, and terminate 'net connection; how soon will distraction strike?

<< week | July 5, 2000 | July 6, 2000 | July 7, 2000 | week >>

Everything's Best Users Snapshot

   #   Users                   XP   wa7   inc Level   l_XP l_wa7
   1   Pseudo_Intellectual  17512   138   129    11  17383   139
   2   DMan                 15943   195   137     9  15806   205
   3   dem bones            13975   115    64    11  13911   124
   4   Segnbora-t           11364   101   118    10  11246    98
   5   Saige                11243   102   254    10  10989    77
   6   pukesick              9354    11     7    10   9347    12
   7   sensei                8561   119   130     7   8431   117
   8   dannye                8469   110   110     9   8359   110
   9   Deborah909            8203    49    60    10   8143    47
  10   tregoweth             8079    97   134    10   7945    91
  11   N-Wing                7788    22    15     9   7773    23
  12   jessicapierce         7718   -31   -13    10   7731   -34
  13   Jet-Poop              7630    55     5     9   7625    63
  14   Lometa                7314    60    70     9   7244    58
  15 * ideath                7270    60    98     7   7172    54
  16 - knifegirl             7215    57    36     9   7179    60
  17   yossarian             7182    46    86     9   7096    39
  18   /dev/joe              7049    77    43     8   7006    83
  19   JeffMagnus            6930    15     4     9   6926    17
  20   pingouin              6868    25    13     9   6855    27
  21   Tem42                 6844    52    79     8   6765    48
  22   ModernAngel           6640    23    14     9   6626    25
  23   General Wesc          6507    37    17     9   6490    40
  24   moJoe                 6365    51    77     9   6288    47
  25   hoopy_frood           6131    34    67     8   6064    28
  26   novalis               5884    31    80     9   5804    23
  27   bozon                 5638     8    16     9   5622     7
  28   Sylvar                5361    73    33     7   5328    80
  29 * Uberfetus             5158    68   113     6   5045    61
  30 - alex.tan              5125    36    20     7   5105    39
  31 - juliet                5110    29     8     9   5102    33
  32   RockLobster           4984    16     0     9   4984    19
  33   Templeton             4940    41     0     5   4940    48
  34   nine9                 4876    10     7     9   4869    10
  35   yam                   4857    11    14     7   4843    11
  36   hamster bong          4782    76    11     6   4771    87
  37 * sabre23t              4690    54    66     6   4624    52
  38 - bitter_engineer       4645    39    21     7   4624    42
  39   Sarcasmo              4369     5    11     8   4358     4
  40   kessenich             4366    27    22     9   4344    28
  41   ariels                4280     8     2     8   4278     9
  42 * wharfinger            4165    56    83     6   4082    51
  43 - knarph                4164    29     3     9   4161    33
  44   CaptainSpam           3929    15    18     8   3911    15
  45   Lord Brawl            3856    25    11     8   3845    27
  46 * Orange Julius         3720    24    21     7   3699    25
  47 - ailie                 3717    10     4     7   3713    11
  48   themusic              3709    18    18     8   3691    18
  49   65535                 3678    26     5     5   3673    30
  50   Woundweavr            3670     9    16     8   3654     8
  51   hatless               3661    26    26     8   3635    26
   *   EBU #51               3661    28    26     *   3635    28

Server time: 14:19 Thu Jul 6 2000 UTC, corrected since June 29, 2000

* = users rising up in the EBU; - = users falling down in the EBU
l_ = last (previous) value; inc = increase in stats value
wa7 = ((stats + (6 * l_wa7))/7) = weighted average with denominator 7

sabre23t: Random Nodes

sabre23t: Nodes to node

Well we enjoyed the family cookout on the 4th of July. Had the traditional hambugers, hot dogs potato salad and BBQ Beans (Hubby was rousting about in the fridge and grousing that they were all gone, no leftovers!) I met some of my brother-in-law's friends. One named Mudslide (??) I was told Don't ask! so I didn't. He used to play in rock 'n roll band and my bro-in-law was a roadie for him. The Margaritas were delicious made with Cuervo Gold and some triple sec ummmm ! My son and I enjoyed watching the fireworks driving around town for an hour and a half lost. They had closed my regular route back home because of the fireworks display so we had to backtrack. Altogether a pleasant day.

Am making daily announcements to the guys here that my birthday is Saturday (July 8th). They really let me down for Mother's Day. Did get a belated card and dinner from the boys and a BS excuse from the hubby that 'You're not my mother' hmmm we'll see how they do this Saturday;)

In gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest.
- Matthew 13 29:30 (NRSV)


Thought: Wake up and join humanity.

Action: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I've lost my desire to rise in the morning and I've become so accumstomed to this complacency I fear it will be too hard to change.

And I breathe...and I eat.
But I don't live.

Bleh. I need to shut up with this ultra-depressing and melodramatic junk. I know my life is good. I just need to work on this bit of violent pessimism I've recently encountered.

A friend was telling me about a book the other day. It sounded interesting. Something about a person who manifests fear of themselves into everyday objects and events and becomes completely paranoid. Sounds right up my alley :) Then another friend said something to the effect of, "That's so sad to be afraid of yourself. Some people are messed up."

...and i laughed when the little plastic human exploded.

Well fellow Everythingians, it looks like this is it -- ARROWFALL IS OUT OF A JOB.

The little technology / healthcare / reinsurance company I helped found in the summer of '97 is about to go tits up. As of Friday we close the doors for good. No more biz. Sure, we'll probably maintain a skeleton crew for another week or two to wind up the essentials - an accountant and a facilities person. Probably me, the data lord.

I'm not sure how the bankrupcy proceedings will go - we may be able to stave that off by liquidating as many assets as possible. Fire sale!

This is so depressing...

So I was woken up today early. It sucked. I then remembered that I talked to my ex last night. He was freaking out about some article written about him. It will be weird to see him again.

I talked to a few friends, and helped one out of a bind. BTW Linux World sucks. =)

Later on I planted some more lavander, and salvia. I love pretty flowers. I also planted some cat grass for Pouncer.

I haven't talked to my boyfriend today. No reason why, I just haven't. I decided I should spend some time today noding, because I haven't in quite a while.

My emotions are all over the place. Feelings of apathy, unrest, wanting to curl up and hide, wanting to make big changes.. etc. It's kind of making me a wreck.

OH YEAH! Yesterday, I went to Home Depot to buy soil, and I tripped on my already fucked up ankle, over a piece of wood carelessly left in the middle of the floor. That hurt. I should have sued. Instead when they rushed over to help. I told them they were fucking morons for having wood in the middle of the flood.

ophie made me laugh with her kitten joke in my Who wants a random present from Juliet? node. Only because she has a sick sense of humor though. Unless ophie is covertly "youknowwho".

I like my Heathers node a lot!

My god man, how long does it take a society to constuct some form of food that doesn't cause heavy stomach while waiting for it to digest.

oh yeah, I am very sick.

Good News Now

To top it all off, not only did I sneeze on the gal I feel like kissing, but she wasn't even offended. Someone give me a booyah on that one.

The day I have found out the terrible misunderstanding I made last night.
The day everything fell apart.
The day I relearned how spoken words are diffrent from written ones.
The day I have to respect the decision.
The day I truly curse my ears, my mouth, and my poor knowlidge.
The day I hoped there were a word 'if'.

Got up early today and went to my first day at the new job. The work itself was pretty mundane (mostly building servers and dispensing the odd bit of Unix lore to my co-workers) but the company was good--the other technicians who ended up accompanying me in the workshop (they call it "the lab") were young and smart and liked to talk while they work. I think I'm going to enjoy working there.


today i am in a good mood.

We ate breakfast at the Waffle House after work. No matter what you get, it's the Widow Maker, even if it's egg whites. We had to blot them. !! Y noticed that the toast is the sleeper, with about one stick of butter per slice. It's best to stick with the waffles, I think, as long as you don't go ballistic with the syrup. They're the only things that aren't steeped in some sort of butter product. But hey. Oh, and they have T-shirts now that say "Eat My Grits (and waffles, and...blah blah blah)." And there was a cook there with a pointy paper Waffle House cap. It was, um, jaunty.

You might be a redneck if you have a Waffle House credit card.

We didn't do much else of note, not that going for breakfast is necessarily worthy of note. I studied for my cert for about 15 minutes (lame!) and packed more stuff, because we're moving on Saturday. In the middle of the day we were rudely interrupted by my slumlord's cabana girl, who wanted to show my apartment. She insisted. Y suggested that I offhandedly mention how the closet floor is wet because the water leaks from the bathroom, and also "Did they ever find out who held that girl in #1 up by knifepoint?" but I didn't. Should've, but didn't.

Today is Hawaiian Day at work. I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about it unless they have a roast pig on a spit outside on the lawn, some Martin Denny music piped inside, and women in grass skirts. Hawaiian women, not, like, the managers. :::shudder::: The horror. The horror!

I'm sure that the guy on day shift is going to wear his mall-bought "Hawaiian" shirt. Putz.

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