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Time: Mon, 24 Jul 2000 00:03:34 GMT
Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) Debian/GNU mod_perl/1.21_03-dev
Number of nodes: 621641 (976 new since July 23, 2000)
Number of users: 17097 (12 new since July 23, 2000)
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Users Online (27): [dannye] [tregoweth] [Deborah909] [hamster bong] [Uberfetus] [prole] [hatless] [icicle] [coffy] [Electricsound] [whizkid] [jkfghldagv] [Enzondio] [trega] [ansate] [Katyana] [junkpile] [tribbel] [StopTheViolins] [Gypsy] [mase_e] [Muke] [DancinFool] [Zen Goblin] [swifticus] [chisaidj] [everyone]

JeffMagnus node count: 3880 (2 new since July 23, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience: 8317 (105 more since July 23, 2000)
JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 2.144 XP per node
JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.625%
JeffMagnus node of the day: E2 server facts

Today was fun, after the sleep hangover went away. Thank god for instant mocha. I had been w/o caffeine for 2 entire days, and last night i went to bed way to late, then slept too long, so i woke up with one of those headaches. Found some instant mocha mix (nescafe) and drank it down. My Savior! Went to the store to get food. Food is good, also got another 6-pack of pepsi. Why not a cube? Well i ride my bicycle, and a cube is hard to carry in general.

Wound up down at the park with my girlfriend, we snuggled for about an hour, and realized we were both hungry, and the bottle of water i had was very empty. Wound up at Quiznos. It was strange, the village was dead, nothing was open, no one was walking around. It reminded me of the The Stand, except without all the dead bodies. Sat in quiznos for about an hour, and went back to the park. My girlfriend had a headache, so i gave her an excedrin from my little bag of tricks, and she promptly fell asleep snuggled onto me. Watching your girlfriend sleep is by far one of the best things ever. Then about an hour later, we went home.

So what did i do when i got home you didn't ask? Well what else would a god fearing american do? E2!
i'm not entirely sure when today actually began for me...

likely around 8 pm this evening, but if you count midnight as the beginning of the day, then i was up for longer (and my day is nearly over, too...)

so we'll just go with midnight, seems passable enough. so most of my "day" has been spent working on my webpage (still in massive need of work), eating maple donuts and reading Alice in Wonderland. that, and sleeping.

sleeping, sleeping...

then this evening, woke up at 8:07 pm, watched the remainder of the Simpsons (having seen it already three times] and made black beans and rice. watched Ellen DeGeneres comedy special on TV, now watching The Red Green Show.

if this isn't an enlightened existence, i know not what is...
I swear to God one of my cats is trying to seduce me. She licks down my arm to my hand, down to the tip of my index finger, which she takes between her little brown otter paws and attempts to deep throat.   No part of this anecdote is exaggerated for humorous effect. This is disgusting. But I kind of want to yell TAKE IT ALL!

Tonight Albert will be dragging me to that new titty movie with Keanu Reeves as Paul Westerberg. Will report.

A haphazardly busy day. I took Number One Son to church early this morning to leave for Church Camp in Showlow. He's the Athletic Director there this year. He spent most of yesterday trying to have a BBQ for his friends. Some will be leaving out of state to begin their college years. He spent $60.00 on food and was disappointed only three people ate. I told him to be patient, it would take a few times to get something like that planned and organized. We did enjoy the left overs tonight for dinner. Later on he left to go bowling with friends. He came back to get the car because one friend didn't like the idea that another friend was coming along.
Ryan says he doesn't feel good and arms akimbo Number One Son tells him he'd feel better if he had "eaten something earlier at the BBQ".... and that Marshall was a "good kid." (Marshall is only 6 months younger than they are, but going to be a High School Senior) My husband laughed at our son's grown up attitude, say You sound like Mom!. I thought inside to myself with some small sadness, He grew up in spite of me.....

Tended some old nodes today, linked them and eliminated the strays &'s I found. Made it to Taisé late, but I enjoy it so much. Went out early for my walk because the days are getting shorter and it's been dark by the time I get home.

I began my devotions tonight and found a small index card in my Bible with a list of verses. I asked my husband where the card came from , I didn't recognize the handwriting. He said my pastor wrote them down for me when he visited me in the hospital. I have a very dim recollection of his visit at a time I couldn't see clearly because of my illness, it may have been at a time I was very close to death. I look back now, it seems so far away...... so long ago and ... so hard to imagine.
Here is the list of verses my pastor gave me to offer me hope and comfort.

Psalm 23

Romans 8:31-39

John 10:7-18

Isaiah 42: 5-9
Isaiah 43: 1-7

Psalm 30

Under God's Wings

What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Shall the dust praise thee? shall it declare thy truth? Hear, O LORD, and have mercy upon me: LORD, be thou my helper. Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;

To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.
- Psalm 30: 9-12 (KJV)

Devotion

This node is brought to you by Kmart

That's correct, Debbie has finally given up her battle for free AOL service and has joined the wonderful Kmart family: bluelight.com. Woohoo! Anything is better than AOL. And surprisingly, bluelight.com crashes a hell of a lot less often than AOL did. I have to deal with a small ad banner on the bottom of my screen, but it's small, it doesn't really bother me too much.

Today I used up all my votes on E2 for the first time in months. I had to force myself to do it. I don't like to vote on stuff just to use a vote. I like to vote on stuff that I actually like. I rarely vote anything down, usually just up. So I visited the day logs and spread the wealth around there. It makes me feel guilty that I don't vote enough because people are kind enough to vote on my stuff. But there isn't really isn't any satisfaction in getting 15 XP points from using up all my votes, especially not in comparison to getting 15 XP from a C!hinged node with a +5 rep. But this time it was somewhat satisfactory because those 15 XP pushed me over the 1100 XP hump. I still have something like 21 write-ups to go to get to level 5 though. That's a bit frustrating. I have had enough XP for level 5 for well over a month now. Patience is a virtue…I will not press the Dr. Pepper button again…the elevator is coming….patience is a virtue…

Today we had the last of the birthday parties. My dad turns 59 next weekend but we had his birthday party early. It's the last of the summer gatherings. It makes me kind of sad. I have become so close to my family again since I have moved back home. I miss my college life, I miss Rochester, and I miss my friends but I love being home with my family. The best times we have together are the times when everyone just happens to show up at the house at the same time, totally unplanned. My family has the strangest conversations. I am always fascinated though. It's very difficult for us to have a discussion without 1) it getting heated 2) pulling out the 1980 Funk & Wagnall's Encyclopedia and 3) yelling. The heated part stems from each of us having a different opinion/idea while each of us insist that we are the correct individual. The encyclopedia thing is pretty damn funny. The books were published in 1980, possibly even earlier than that. And the yelling isn't actually a result of the heated argument, it's because there are five of us children and we learned at a very young age that if you wanna be heard, you gotta yell. We are an amazingly intelligent family and we all have good argumentative skills but the fun part of listening to us is in the way that we argue. We twist each other's thoughts and ideas around so badly, we team up on each other only to change teams in the middle of the argument, we take turns playing the devil's advocate and we interrupt each other constantly. I love to play the devil's advocate, I cannot help myself, it must be part of that middle child syndrome I keep hearing about. Today's subject of conversation was the use of rifles in the American Revolution. It was a rather dry subject to argue but it doesn't really matter the subject of conversation, it's the battle of wits. The constant challenge of one-upping each other. And of course, the ancient Funk & Wagnall's came out. It had to.

It's been awhile since I've felt the need to write about him. But it's happened again, the confusion is back. I still can't think clearly, all I can do is come up with a list of questions. How am I ever going to answer any of these if he isn't here to help? Am I justified in being angry with him for not being here to help me with the answers? And why do I have to feel so guilty all the damn time? It's his fault, not mine...isn't it?

By the way, the confusion never left, I've just gotten better at ignoring it.
Monday 17:10 (GMT +1000)
Phwaaaarrr.. well, the last one of these I wrote was - lemme think - a week and a bit ago! Bleh! Well, thats what you get when you have to acutally do work at work, as opposed to fucking around on the internet like the previous 2 weeks were! So, without further ado, the abridged version of the last week (in point form!)
  • As previously stated I headed inland to Bathurst for a night of frivolity. sonicanimation went off as usual. (And they were just awarded best live act at the first ever Australian Dance Music Awards!)
  • Got to see my girlfriend. Twice! :)
  • Errm.. boy, I didn't really do very much in the last 12 days!
  • Ahh ha! I know - Have a new project to work on - very exciting - a windows dallas loader

    Well, I lead an exciting life don't I? Hmm.. Well, onto other things of note that I feel require more a list item.
    Last Friday, we all headed out to a nice pub for lunch. I walk through the door and run head long into 2 great friends from uni that I hadn't seen in 2 years. Neither of them live anywhere near where we were, which just made the coincidence even greater. It was excellent to see them again after sunch a long break though!

    Ahh.. but the best thing would have to have been seeing Moby last night. The show was nothing like what I was expecting. I always thought of Moby as a DJ - but he spent the whole show with up front alternating between singing, playing guitar and doing misc things with electronic equipment that I couldn't figure out. I've got to say that he came across really well, and seemed like a down to earth person (some of what I had read about him had given me a different impression). Oh and the concert was excellent. Go see him if you get the chance!

    Hmm.. I believe it is now time to leave work

    Sleep well everyone in the same timezone as me
  • I have been reading lately that (duh) there is a distinct relationship between the heat output of cities, and the current and short term weather. This, unfortunately, explains why everytime I head to the mountains, I get dumped on.

    So I went up to near Granite Falls yesterday, to climb and hike into Three Fingers. This mountain, aside from merely having 3 fingers, has the North Cascades most epic fire lookout bolted to the top. In fact, when it was build in 1932, they had to blow the top 30 feet off the south finger to make room for it. One side it drops off 2000 feet, and on the other there are numerous ladders.

    All this to describe why I wanted to hike in there. With the weather forecast readding "thundershowers", we finally hit the trail around 2:30, which is a very late start for me.

    Thunder and Lightning through the trees. Near constant mist throughout. Flash... pause pause.. crackooom.

    2.5 miles into saddle lake, 2 miles up to goat flats, 2 more miles into the base of the lookout. Unfortunately, with almost zero visibility, in a thunder shower, this is all broken into tiny sections. We climbed for hours, high slope traverses, cumulating finally in having to climb a free suspended Ice Tounge to gain access to an emergency Bivy. If we would have had one clear view of the lookout we would have made it, but it was not to be.

    So began a truely nasty bivi. Rain, winds, and my buddy and I, each in our own Bivi sack (see Bibler), waiting out the night. I was soaked by the time I got in the sack, and though it is common knowledge that one should not bring down sleeping bags on wet rainy trips, this was unfortunately what I had chosen (out of 4 sleeping bags, I picked the lightest.). So we lay there side by side, in this howling storm. thinking about lightening. After a long night, dawn finally came, and with it what looked to be sun. No! it was a joke. the rain continued, with a few variations like rolling fog.

    So we descended, slowly, pulling weird moves like iceclimbing short vertical bergshrunds just to gain short stretchs of rocks. A 5 hour rain hike out.

    Since then, this evening, it has been nothing but creature comforts, ice cream in one hand, cat in the other.

    Yesterday | Dizzy->Day_Logs() | Tomorrow


    11:45 BST

    This seems to be a day where Senior Management have decided that they will meddle in everything I do.

    If it had been up to me, I would have used CVS and bugzilla for our project. I had the support of the engineers and product sales. Yet, with the addition of a new Project Leader, all this has been thrown out the window. This project leader is moving rapidly through our ranks - one of his sponsors is our General Manager. This general manager hates Unix; everything must run on windows2000 or 98. The project I am working on is Linux and NT based, but everyone has to work on NT because we're using ClearCase. There's a version of clearcase for Unix but, of course, we have to use the NT version because this manager says so.

    I yearn for a day where people cannot make such decisions without having expert and thorough knowledge of the problem at hand.

    12:20 BST

    I left the lunch table early; everyone was talking about how directionless senior management are. I seem to be on an emotional downward slope; the desire to overeat and take vast amounts of painkillers is gnawing at me.

    More beautiful girls in the canteen, I am invisible to them. This sort of situation guides my thoughts towards plastic surgery and intensive psychotherapy.

    I retreated from reality for most of this morning, because of the silly management interference in my job. I daydreamed that I was at the E2 london picnic, there were many girls there and we were filmed singing happily to The Last night of the Proms.

    I understand that relationships make one happy; I have never been in a mature relationship, so I wouldn't know. What I do know is that my brain (or possibly instinct) is putting great importance on finding a girl to love and protect. It's at times like this I find myself fantasising. Not about sex (not all the time :), but about relationships; picnics, forest walks, holidays, even children!

    It is my own fault though. I don't make the effort to go out more, I don't take complete care of myself or my house. There's an immature, selfish part of me that wants instant gratification - I want that "loop" thingy from Logan's Run where people are always available for relationships and/or sex.

    I just wish I could shove this deeper. Put my real feelings away in a box like everyone else seems to be able to do. Present a happy face to the world and live in Advert Land.

    I know that people are complex beings, but I want to be clockwork. I need to be fixable. I need the watchmaker to replace a spring, reset a cog and squirt some oil on me. I suppose I want a parent or lover to cuddle me and tell me that it will all be OK, I don't need to worry about anything because they will always protect me.

    I hate myself because I let people get to me.

    13:35 BST

    I am shallow - This cheered me up: http://www.calvinandhobbes.com/strips/89/07/ch8907245497.gif

    16:20 BST

    Thanks for the cool RimRod!

    Now I have a headache. Fucking Marvellous.

    Hey, um, Jesus? Could you, like, remove Mondays from now on? Please? Amen.

    20:55 BST

    Yet again, #everything cheers me up. Someone told me a story about dandelions, which made me smile (they shall remain nameless to protect their honour)

    15:28 EET

    I haven't managed to do anything worthwhile at work today, due to the normal Monday mood combined with weariness. I started watching B5 from the beginning last night, somehow got stuck staring at the screen and stayed up way too late. This reminds me of a time I was attending lukio, when I got pissed at the whole system and didn't attend classes in a while. Every night I stayed up in bed and watched The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O'Brien and new Babylon 5 episodes a friend had recorded from Norwegian TV. While staying out of classes was stupid (and caused me lots of sleepless nights and hard work later on in order to graduate) it was still sort of nice.. Oh well.

    The sun block is applied, time to leave the office and walk home under the excrushiatingly hot sun.


    22:54 EET

    My sister left for a summer camp this morning. So it's an another quiet week ahead. Don't get me wrong - I love my sister. But along with my mother they make as much noise as a jet landing. With only one of them left for a while, this house suddenly feels as quiet as a freeway during the 4 o'clock rush! :)
    I hope my dear old sis enjoys herself on the camp. I spent 3 summers at the same place when I was a kid, and had a really great time.

    The weather is finally starting to turn a bit less painful. The drop in temperature comes with a lot of rain, but I'm only bothered by it if I have to spend a lot of time outside. Both the workday and my free time should be a lot more productive tomorrow, at least if I get myself to bed early enough. Today was one of the most lazy days I've had in weeks! It was a bad day for noding, too - I even managed to get some offensive soft-links from a childish coward. Joy. Somebody should put up a web store where people like that could buy some balls.

    Btw, Ed the Suck truly sucks. What's so great about a green-haired sock puppet uttering dirty jokes under strict censorship? Sigh. 21 days until they bring back Late Night with Conan O'Brien.


    Today's writeups:
  • Korg M1
  • Korg M1R
  • Dreamcast
  • Seinfeld Episode 47
  • I woke up with you on my mind. I miss you, damn you for being so damn amazing. When you move, when my time frees, we can be together and watch a sunset or stare at constellations all night while talking about moonbeams and shiny happy thought'y matter. Time Machine would come in handy to speed it all up.

    I'm home today. My boss is at corporate in San Mateo this week, and told me to only come in a few days to check on things. I decided that monday wasn't going to be it. Why am i awake you ask? Because I'll get some stuff done, like um.. check e-mail. I figure I'll go in on Tuesday through Thursday to check up on the office. Friday I'll be in New Jersey, staying at my parents' house and then going to NYC the next early week for an IEEE Multimedia Conference. Whee.

    I had a fun night last night. I met up with masukomi at Tealuxe in Brookline to have some tea and chitchat for a bit. She's pretty neat. Expanding my circle of friends is something I enjoy doing. That is all.
    When I was twelve years of age I lived in a two bedroomed house with my mother and sister. My mum and sis shared a large bedroom, so when my sister's boyfriend came to stay, my mum would stay in the spare bed in my room (I have a very liberal minded mother).

    Unfortunately on this particular night my poor old mother felt a little ill, connected in some way to her vodka consumption on this particular evening. Even more unfortunately for me she couldn't make it out of the room before she hurled. Even more unfortunately for me she managed to make it as far as my bed. EVEN MORE unfortunately for me it was the middle of summer and I had no cover on and only a pair of pyjama bottoms on.

    I got covered from head to toe in my mothers vomit.

    Not a pleasant story, no moral to it but it will embarrass the hell out of her when I tell her that this admission is available for you all to read - and that is the least she deserves for showering me in sick.

    monday morning

    rain

    but i don't mind. i love rain, except on weekends and the weekend was beautiful.

    i fell asleep early last night, around 7 or 8. on the couch with the tele on and the laptop in my (go figure) lap. hauled my bum to the bedroom around 9. no dreams that i recall. woke up at 7:45, hit the snooze for an hour, smoked a cigarette, took a shower, got dressed, walked the dog, and headed to work (by car, since it is raining). so here i am. my office window faces east, so in the mornings my office is nice and warm and i keep my door shut to keep out all the nasty cold air-conditioned air. without the sun this morning my office isn't much warmer than the hallway (though the number of computers in here does help to raise the temperature a bit).

    i accomplished a great amount on friday (work which i am very proud of). i will have time this week to begin working on projects outside of my primary duties. so i should probably stop working on the daylog and get started on them.

    more later...

    monday afternoon

    feeling good and flying high. i finally finished the 12 houses (the hardest part was the damned ascii). i think i'll work a bit more on some general astrology topics. i don't believe in the stuff but have a fairly in-depth knowledge of it after studying to see if there was anything to it (i decided there wasn't -- not for me, anyway).

    tonight i should: do my laundry, go to practice, finish my painting, and go to bed early. and now, back to work.
    9:59 Eastern Daylight Savings Time

    I beat Baldur's Gate on Friday! Ha, that rat bastard Sarevok won't be bothering ME anytime soon. Of course, I jumped right in to Planescape: Torment, which is one of the most whacked out games I've ever played.

    Loved the WWF Pay Per View last night. Really enjoyable, although Chris Benoit winning the title for real would've been hella cool.

    My parents are still in Quebec. I love having the house to myself. There's nothing like walking around naked, master of my domain. :)

    I donno what to do to occupy myself tonight. Someone fly to New York and entertain me.

    This is my last week of work at my summer job. Thank god.
    4:45a EST - Wake up. Realize that the state of being awake is something that, in fact, has been in occurance for the past 5 and a half hours. Attempt to recoup some sleep. Much needed sleep.

    5:15a EST - Wake up, again. Realize that this is the only sleep that I had the entire night. Get up. Defrag computer. Notice that defrag isn't going to work, as always. Set shell to defrag.exe, reboot. Ha, that works. Take shower.

    6:10a EST - Catch bus to work. Curse the bus driver silently for having the lights on - which will distrub any further attempts at sleep. Curse the city for hosting the Republican National Convention, which will disturb my bus ride, which in turn will disturb my sleep.

    6:40a EST - Arrive at work, bright and cheery. The adjectives bright and cheery were substituted for miserable and shitty until I got my 2nd cup of hot chocolate in me. Today's the day I'm supposed to register for classes, but 2 classes I need to graduate were filled even before my registration timeperiod begain. Very fun to have happen to me.

    12:00p EST - After updating 2 Flash projects which took no less than an hour each to update, because some developer in the building decided to make a tiny minor graphical adjustment to one of our products, continuing work on a 3rd project, and doing other menial intern tasks, it's finally time for lunch. And lucky me, I have no appetite, so it's back to work.

    6:30p EST - After working on the latest project for the remainder of the day (doing about 15 minutes of work over the span of 4 hours... life is good), I head home, and catch the remainder of the day's sleep (30 minutes) on the bus ride. But now the school's router is down. My internet access is cut off, with the only alternatives being AOL or work's ultra uber firewalled proxied securid'ed connection. Oh well, I think I'm just gonna ditch my comp for the night anyway... Which wouldn't be a problem, except that it's miserable outside, and everyone around here is studying. Grrrrrr.

    << week | July 23, 2000 | July 24, 2000 | July 25, 2000 | week >>

    Everything's Best Users Snapshot

    
       #   Users                   XP   wa7   inc Level   l_XP l_wa7
        
       1   Pseudo_Intellectual  20311   161   263    11  20048   144
       2   EDB                  20017     1     0     1  20017     1
       3   DMan                 17993    82   107     9  17886    78
       4   dem bones            15941    69    37    11  15904    74
       5   Segnbora-t           13206   104   107    10  13099   104
       6   Saige                13047    91    28    11  13019   101
       7   sensei               10768   129   169     7  10599   122
       8   dannye               10485   107    95     9  10390   109
       9   tregoweth             9672    66    43    10   9629    70
      10   pukesick              9568    10     6    10   9562    11
      11   Deborah909            8991    49    76    10   8915    45
      12   ideath                8726    57    25     8   8701    62
      13   Lometa                8649    80    93     9   8556    78
      14   JeffMagnus            8408   101   194    10   8214    86
      15   Tem42                 8234    74    40     8   8194    80
      16   N-Wing                8207    23    27     9   8180    22
      17   knifegirl             8144    52   121     9   8023    41
      18 * /dev/joe              8098    67   140     8   7958    55
      19 - yossarian             8008    34     7     9   8001    39
      20   Jet-Poop              7929    19    16     9   7913    19
        
      21   jessicapierce         7519    -7     8    10   7511   -10
      22   moJoe                 7479    56    11     9   7468    63
      23   bozon                 7322    60    15     9   7307    67
      24   pingouin              7288    21    12     9   7276    23
      25   ModernAngel           7265    39    10     9   7255    44
      26   General Wesc          7120    37    42     9   7078    36
      27   hoopy_frood           6920    39    30     8   6890    41
      28   Sylvar                6770    79   127     7   6643    71
      29   juliet                6641    71     6     9   6635    82
      30   hamster bong          6328    87    82     6   6246    88
      31   novalis               6172    16     5     9   6167    18
      32   Templeton             6158    69    64     6   6094    70
      33 * alex.tan              5802    51   157     7   5645    33
      34 - sabre23t              5705    55    56     7   5649    55
      35   Uberfetus             5691    29    62     6   5629    23
      36 * bitter_engineer       5315    31    36     8   5279    30
      37 - wharfinger            5308    57    25     6   5283    62
      38   nine9                 5198    26   103     9   5095    13
      39   RockLobster           5057     4     1     9   5056     4
      40   yam                   5023     8     8     7   5015     8
      41   kessenich             4844    23    14     9   4830    25
      42   ariels                4806    25    31     8   4775    24
      43   Orange Julius         4700    58    54     7   4646    59
      44 * Dis                   4566    57    42     6   4524    60
      45 - Lord Brawl            4564    44    14     8   4550    49
      46 - CaptainSpam           4544    34     5     9   4539    39
      47   Sarcasmo              4464     6     1     8   4463     7
      48   knarph                4382    12    35     9   4347     8
      49   mat catastrophe       4333    62    23     7   4310    69
      50   themusic              4319    31    49     8   4270    28
      51   prole                 4309  #N/A  #N/A     6  #N/A   #N/A
    
       *   EBU #51               4309    45    90     *   4219    38
     

    Server time: 15:49 Mon Jul 24 2000 UTC, corrected since June 29, 2000

    * = users rising up in the EBU; - = users falling down in the EBU
    l_ = last (previous) value; inc = increase in stats value
    wa7 = ((stats + (6 * l_wa7))/7) = weighted average with denominator 7

    sabre23t: Random Nodes

    sabre23t: Nodes to node

    Hello everyone. Been a while since I left any marks on Everything. Quick update - I am: But it's a good summer for it. This is the beginning of my third week of not having a job. I thought I would love it - it's been more than 10 years since I've had a Summer off - yet it is driving me crazy.

    And I keep getting these pesky job offers. I'm not even looking for work and folks want me to come do their data or webify their legacy aps. Great. Thanks a lot - now I have an excuse to feel guilty for not being productive.

    Ah well - Diablo 2 has helped numb the guilt. As has liberal doses of reading for hours on end at Vivace. Also - after I'm sure my hand is all the way healed - I'll probably get another bike and start doing some serious cycling.

    From last week, I have a bill. It's the tuition bill for Brooklyn College totaling 1,700 pure United States dollars ($1.700.00). I have to pay it before August 14 or else my third year in college will be kaput. However, I didn't declare a major so my usual financial aid will not come in early. I have to declare my major in September, but that will be too late. I can afford the $1,700 but that means gimping my savings account (out of 2,000 dollars). The bankers (or my parents, whoever comes first) will kill me if I take out all that money for college. I have to pay $200 for my DSL hardware, and $180 for a router and an NIC for my side of the DSL line. Now what the heck should I do?

    Today the two remaining pieces of equipment arrived. The "gravity walker" involves swinging ones legs. My co-ordination means this is next to useless. My wife finds it useful. In addition, it's a better machine that we ordered but they reckon we can have it for the same price. However, we'll try and get it even cheaper as it's damaged (no affecting its safety).

    The other was a "Mr Motivator Rider". Uh. Obviously for wimps. Maximum weight 14 stone (200lbs). I'm mildly overweight and nearly that (little muscle, not a lot of fat - if I beef up, I'll get heavier). My wife was 16 stone at last count. It's going back.

    I reckon this is far more fun than doing exercise!

    Yesterday | Tomorrow
    We're taking weekends off - skip back to Friday...

    Today, my hours got weirder than they already were. I'm beginning to think my previous life took place in another timezone. I went to bed at about 12:00, after breakfast, and got up again at 17:00, just in time for dinner.

    After I had pulled my self away from the chair, my body decided to fall asleep on again, I watched Earth: The final conflict. And it still sucked. I had some coffee during the show, so it wasn't all that bad.

    The TV-people apparently had the idea to start broadcasting Boy meets world and Unhappily ever after again. So I watched it, and it's still cool.

    I went over to Booth's place again. He was ranting and raving about how the modern world sucks, and especially about how evil communism was. I just couldn't get him to believe that "capitalists" can spread propaganda as well. Not even after we saw the news. The Russian president, Putin, was in Japan, I think, and he showed off his martial arts skills. Nothing wrong with that you'd say. But, for some reason, the news-people immediatly dismissed it as "propaganda". This pissed me off, because imho the western world is the biggest spreader of propaganda ever.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not a communist, anarchist, socialist, or whatever. I just hate lying politicians and news-people.

    There was nothing on TV for the rest of the night, so we just infinitly zapped the channels.

    That was my day.

    Today was my first day back at work after a week long vacation.

    New:

    • My supervisor may be leaving. Hooray.
    • My best friend my be my new boss. Ummm.
    My VP's son is "interning" with us to "learn about computers." He has a bachellor's degree in theology, but I guess he couldn't make any money at it so he figures it is high time for a marketable skill. Too bad he has no knowledge of and no flair for things digital. He says he wants to get into digital filmmaking, like some Flash programming or something.
    So we just let him look at movies on the net all day. Kept him from getting crushed by the weight of real responsibility. I herded him back over to the PC he was at when Exchange started dropping connections with people.

    I am programming trivial crap right now, but if I finish too soon I will have to help out with trouble calls, so I goof off all day and talk about how "complicated making my ColdFusion generate the JavaScript for the forms that I am having dynamicly generated" is, or some such nonsense. I can't wait untill they open up more projects that I can play with, but for the next couple of weeks it is just spam code.

    I am a spammer. But I am not happy about it, and it is for a good cause. Well, that's how I get paid, at any rate.

    Work Work Work Work Work. Work. More work. Blah.

    I really need to find a new job. I feel like everyone here hates me a lot of the time recently. I’ve got waves of bad mojo coming my way, so its time to make an escape. I keep sending out my resume, but everyone seems to take so long to get back to you, or I get rejection letters right away. Ugh.

    The weekend wasn’t too horrible. I saw the movie Loser on Saturday afternoon. It was a cute movie, but not very funny. I was supposed to see my EAP counselor on Saturday, but I mixed up the times and its actually this coming Saturday for our appointment. Ugh. I asked her to call me this week with the name of a shrink to refer me to so I can get back on the meds. I hate feeling this horrible all the time. I don’t like taking antidepressants, but I don’t like feeling this way either. It will only be for a little while anyway... I hope.

    I saw my trainer on Sunday, and now my arms and shoulders hurt like mad. Ugh. It will get easier I think, but that isn’t much help right now.

    I played around with some HTML this weekend, and figured out how to make an image map. Hooray for me! I’m going to work on some graphics and such this week, and hope to have some type of decent site up in the coming weeks.

    I will probably send out some more postcards this week to the Everything Mailing Address Registry. We’ll see what happens with my free time. I’ve been invited to go play bingo on Thursday with some people from work, so I might do that this week. I don’t know what else is going on, except payday on Friday which is good. It’s the rent check though, which is bad. Money good. Rent bad.

    Nodes That I Wrote Today That Are Magically Delicious:
    have you ever been mistaken for someone of the opposite gender?
    Wild n' Crazy Fast Food Stories
    I know they are watching me

    CD’s I’ve Listened To Today:
    VNV Nation – Praise the Fallen
    Alanis Morissette – Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
    Elliot SmithXO
    No Means No - 0+2=1

    Keep your feet on the ground, even though friends flatter you.

    Someone has been applying those goddamned cheapass photoshop filters to the sky again. If I wanted to smudge the clouds I'd have used my own thumb, you frickin twink.

    My History of Philosophy teacher scolds two girls for chattering in the back:

    "You might wake somebody up."

    Baby steps... got a lot of day loggin' to catch up on. Might take a while but at least I'm not going to get a bigger backlog.

    in our last episode... | p_i-logs | and then, all of a sudden...

    Breakfast: pizzaburger, too rare. The lab technician asks me to take his Win95 notebook computer home and troubleshoot its hangs-on-shutdown problem. A truck perches on the concrete divider on Route 3, extending my 10-minute drive home by over an hour. I finish the second block of 50 writeups in my personal node audit. I am tempted to write up "God is not a control freak" in response to the currently popular "Why would God let so many of his flock stray?" or whatever, but I don't have the concentration to make the point eloquently today.

    Aach.

    In a horrible fuckin' mood, for no reason whatsoever. I think that it's another step further towards proving my theory of the male period... I seem to be acting a lot like a theoretical girlfriend would once a month.

    The freakin idiots at Sprint PCS screwed up my service request, so I called immediatley after work to try and resolve the issue peacefully. After a 45 minute hold time, I finally got a friendly operator. Which made the anger level go a little bit down.

    The anger level, however, went up a hundred-fold after finally making progress with the said operator, only to have the digital service cut out, ending my call. While in the apartment, without making any sudden movements.

    FUCK

    So I laid in bed for an hour, steaming and sweating my frustration out.

    GRRRRRRR

    I re-wrote my home node, did some soft linking, scared a couple of youngsters, and generally vented at Everything throughout the day, before the mentioned Sprint PCS incident happened. What type of chaos could be raised while operating at this level is yet to be seen... grr.

    Damn, I am glad to not be a woman. Having random hormonally-induced shitty days sucks.

    I am no longer homeless.

    Today I skipped my morning job and went to bug the dean about getting a room in the guys' dorm. He gave me room 171, which is all right, even though it's on the first floor (where all the bugs are).

    I moved all my stuff out of my grandmother's apartment and got everything set up. The Ethernet connection on my computer worked as soon as I hooked it up. Joy! I danced for an hour or two. I haven't got a roommate yet, so I have nobody to be frath with.. yet. I am happy.

    Tomorrow I will have to get stuff for my new room. Bedsheets, because I'm not sleeping on a couch anymore. Soap. Clotheshangers. Other than that I am all ready for school in a month. Bring it on!

    Just another random work day. This one was more boring than most. Nothing to stock, not many customers... Boring and dull. Still beats the hell outta Bottle Return.

    Order #4 from ThinkGeek was made today... more Penguin Mints and lots of other junk I don't need. Damn, it feels good to get useless junk.

    The plans are finalized, I'm going to Cedar Point on August 13, 2000 to meet a good friend of mine from New York. First time he's ever gone to Cedar Point. Funny how I go every year, though. We felt that wearing ThinkGeek swag oughta make us identifiable in-park... One wearing the <GEEK> shirt and the Tux hat, the other wearing the "Will Work For Bandwidth" shirt and got root? hat... we should stick out well.

    Damnit, but I've started doodling again. That means bad news to anyone on my ICQ contact list. More horrid doodles coming down the pipe. Ah, well, it's fun. >:-)

    I should set up proftpd soon. Blah Blah Network info Blah Blah Node more often Blah Blah Perl Blah Blah C++ Blah Blah Blah.

    Oh, the joy. Woke up too early, and couldn't get back to sleep. The sun comes in uninvited at this time of the year. I had to do something useful, the parental units are coming home later today, so I cleaned the house, and put all the furniture back in the proper places. I took the beast (a 1988 nissan pathfinder) in for it's weekly fill-up. Gas is still about $1.48, for 87 octane at the run-down Fina station (more at the newer Texaco across the street) Leaving the gas station, I put the key in, *click*. I try again. *click* *click*. fuck.
    Call home No answer. (of course not, They don't arrive for another three hours) Call a friend. Arrange a pick-up An hour in the 104 degree (farenheit) summer sun later, he finally arrives. We push the car up the sloped parking lot, then back down. I leap into the rolling vehicle, throw it into first, and pop out the clutch. It starts. (sometimes the old tricks are the best; score 1 for stick shifts).
    Work sucks. Having to beg to borrow your little sister's ancient clunker to drive to work sucks more.

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