So, let me be honest, and if you read this you do, and if you don't you don't I am fine with that, and you can be too. I do not have many friends. I have always kept my group of friends very small, and I have always felt a certain closeness with those whom I do actually call friend. However, at this point in my life I do not have a single friend in my life who lives within a decent driving distance of my home. I don't have a single person whom I feel I can write a message or e-mail to that could quickly help me resolve a personal issue. This is not the first time in my life that this has been the case, but this is is the first time that I think that this situation has truly bothered me.

I am not an easy person to get along with. I understand this on an even deeper level than you do, trust me. I am opinionated, and frustratingly unwavering in my viewpoints. The thing is that I am also loyal to the people who are loyal to me, and willing to respect almost any point of view as long as I know that it has been strongly considered, and is not a simple whim. What I want to say, and this also isn't a first, is that I am in a lot of emotional distress. I don't know, maybe I always am, and maybe there is no cure, and maybe I always am and I just refuse to see the resolution before my eyes.

Here is what I think. You need more of that, right? I think I need people to fucking talk to. I think I need a person or two, or three who will drop me a line every now and again who seem to give a fuck if I'm alive. And, let me tell you if there isn't anyone who thinks I'm worth checking in on every once in a while I might as well just drop the pretense and revert to my previous Russian roulette-like plan. I know that last statement seems really unfair, but really, if you're not going to spend two seconds to check in on a cat every two damn months, and you one day find out that he disappeared from the face of the planet would your reaction really be anything more than: "huh, yeah, I guess I can see it."?

Noise:
Tribes of Neurot -- Grace
Daft Punk -- Technologic (single)

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