i'm
tired of you, you got a girlfriend so stop messing with the other girls! that makes them like you and not me. I've been trying to get a girl, and you know what you're not helping (not that i want you to) like the other day i was trying to get a girl, you see me with her you sit closer to her and feel on her legs, i just want to say really, dude Fuck off! but you think you're my friend so i cant. you flirt with her, mess with her, when you can clearly see I LIKE HER! No really, dude Fuck off. In the end she goes out with some skater guy. how do I know this? because you told me, and to make matters even worse you said "It's alright, you tried your best." Well.... I WOULD HAVE BEEN WITH HER! BUT YOU HAD TO GO FLIRTING WITH HER!!! And i know you never really like any of the girls you flirt with, you just do that to mess with them.

Mathew, dude Fuck Off

Notable Movie Descriptions
Found in TV Guide Part II

1408

A writer has a bizarre night.

Baby's Day Out

An infant foils a kidnapping.

Balto

Tale of a heroic dog.

Ghostbusters 2

New York City is slimed.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

Straights pretend to be gay.

Jurassic Park

Engineered dinosaurs run amok.

Mrs. Doubtfire

Dad disguises himself.

Police Academy

Slapstick.

Pretty Woman

Romantic comedy about a hooker. Julia Roberts.

The Wedding Singer

A singer is left at the altar.

1. I am married to a professional athlete (football player?) who was just diagnosed with brain cancer. His prognosis is hopeful but he needs a particular treatment he can't get in our town, so he goes away to be an inpatient at a fancy treatment centre for six months. I wait patiently. When he comes back he doesn't have cancer anymore, he is familiar he tells the same jokes as before he touches me all the same ways, but there is something strange and different about him that I can't figure out.

   I'm also the narrator in this dream: the athlete's prognosis was not good, he has three months to live, but he doesn't tell anyone (not the press, not his employers, not his wife). This is because he comes from a large and very poor family, which he supports with his giant salary, and he doesn't want to leave them with trust funds instead of a steady income. He picks out a body double and teaches him all his habits, the names of everyone he knows and his relationships with them, everywhere he's ever lived and all the trips he's taken; they hire a linguist to pick out all the idiosyncracies of his accent, which the double also learns. The narrative cuts back to me-the-waiting-wife when I am about to watch a neurologist cut into the double's brain, to scar it so his MRI will match the athlete's.

2. Some sinister little girls are making presents for me—harlequin masks out of construction paper and glitter. They're dropping them off in the mailbox outside my house, and they sign their names on the back with hearts. I never see them but I can hear them giggling when they ring the doorbell and run away.

3. Someone I know is being roasted alive in a barbeque shaped like a casket. There are three barbequecaskets and I can't tell which one he's trapped inside; I can hear screams coming from all of them.