15:37 (GMT +10:00) Sydney
Hmm.. its a little weird to be beating the everything snapshot and be creating the day log - oh well, that what I get for writing it in the mid-afternoon in a different time zone to the server.

Well, another thriller day at work. My manager is back today, but I still don't have anything to do - the terminals aren't here yet, and it turns out the person responsible for testing my software at is in the UK. Oh well no need to rush at least! So I spent today reading e2 and updating the UI for the PC side of the keyloading software. Its all very pretty now - finally got around to adding comport selection for the terminal and smartcard and persistence, plus some other crap.

Spent about an hour composing an email to send out to someone first time E takers I'm heading out with tomorrow - found lots of nice reassuring stuff for them. Should be a great night cuz

  • I get the see my girlfirend
  • I get to see one of my favourite bands
  • Have Thursday off work
  • Get to spend Thursday with my girlfriend
  • Get take drugs :)
    To ellaborate on these points I'm heading up to CSUtomorrow night, to see Groove Terminator and sonicanimation - 2 of Australia's finest electronic musicians (if you ask me anyhow!) Should be fanatastic show, as the uni bar is quite small and makes for a really up-close and personal show!

    Reboot - I only discovered this show last week, but I'm hooked already - for any Australians reading this who don't know about it and have Foxtel, 9pm Ch4 on cable, every night - watch it at least once! I've got to say having cable in the house is fun, but GOD DAMN there's some SHITE on! I'm not going into it any further than that...

    And its payday tomorrow! yay! Man o man do I need the money. It will also be my first paycheck after the GST so it will be interesting to see how much extra the government will be giving me! Sweet fuck all I'll be betting! I really wish I was better with money so that I wasn't completely broke by the end of the month - makes the last week before pay very tight! Not that this month will be any better - especially as I have 2 (that right, 2 count 'em, 2) speeding tickets to pay. Yay, there goes $300+. Happiness and Light.

    Well, as far the rest of my day - 2 more hours here at work, then home to..... well not much :P How depressing - I've really got to get out and meet more people. I've been living here 6 months now and the only people I've met are drug dealers that I don't really want to hang out with! Well if anyone wants to meet after work for a drink msg me!

    Bah - I'm depressing myself! Never mind - get to do fun things tomorrow at least! Hmm..

  • 8: 28 AM, another day at glorious work. I worked out my shoulders and back at the gym yesterday for the first time in about two weeks, and they're starting to get sore. It's always bad when you have trouble lifting your arms to the steering wheel. Luckily, the keyboard is a comfortable enough place for those crazy appendages.

    Spoke to a female friend last night that I haven't seen in a year. She just got back from a visit to Hong Kong to see her father. She knows about all the McDonald's incidents (see RimRod Goes to McDonalds to start your journey), and at the time she offered to give me a blowjob for my sorrows there. When I spoke to her last night, she wanted to meet up with me but insisted it be at McDonald's. I'm scared, but also intrigued...maybe it'll break the curse. :)

    Purchased an old sword on eBay to add to my growing collection. My friends are already afraid of me because of my mad fencing skills, this 40-inch double-edged sword'll probably freak them out completely...

    Yesterday | Dizzy->Day_Logs() | Tomorrow


    14:10 BST

    My sad little life has taken a turn for the better: I get a Netra T1 server to play with tomorrow. I find it bemusing that I get worked up by an inanimate object.

    I want to take up Kendo (this random thought was inspired by a) RimRod's wu above and b) a Kendo programme on some random documentary channel last night. I now have no excuse to not join a Gym - I got a raise recently and have the monetary capacity to do it.

    My Hair has started to get in the way of my eyes - hence it is time to get a Hair Cut. I only hope I don't get that crazy Hair fetish woman again.

    22:45 BST

    Just got back from seeing Mission Impossible: 2. I'd give it a 6 out of 10 on the dizzy measure me do. (Fight Club is top of my list and that got 8 out of 10, I like leaving slack for new stuph) My Mum is so cool, she paid for me to go, negating the "I paid for this film so it had better be good" factor. My Mum is being quite cool recently; she enjoyed Chicken Run and even liked to action packed MI:2.

    Anonymous phonecalls today: 2 (a good day)

    Stuff that cheered me up: Afternoon coffee. I almost choked to death laughing when a mate suggested that I add 3 extra buttons to all of my dialogue boxes: a "Defer" button to decide later, a "Maybe" button for those ambiguous dialogues and a "Delegate" button to make someone else take the decision for you.

    Just before leaving work today, we tried to build some software that had previously been developed and built on a single machine. We checked all the changes into ClearCase, got the latest version on my virgin machine and hit the build button. It worked first time! This is A Good Thing

    23:50 BST

    rpco said: Jizakullah. Derivation: Arabic "thank you"; literally "may God reward you." in response to liking his noding some very cool derivation of Dune terms and words. People can be so cool sometimes!

    Everything Day Logs
    Yesterday | Tomorrow

    Everything Snapshot

    Time: Tue, 11 Jul 2000 14:34:56 GMT
    Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) Debian/GNU mod_perl/1.21_03-dev
    Number of nodes: 604685 (2342 new since July 10, 2000)
    Number of users: 16688 (57 new since July 10, 2000)
    Number of links: 2299807 (-22138 new since July 10, 2000)

    Node to user ratio: 36.235 nodes per user
    Link to node ratio: 3.803 links per node
    Link to user ratio: 137.812 links per user

    New Nodes: Users Online (55): [DMan] [sensei] [dannye] [ideath] [Lometa] [yossarian] [JeffMagnus] [hoopy_frood] [Sylvar] [sabre23t] [themusic] [mat catastrophe] [kenata] [Shanoyu] [just a guy] [What ho!] [Cugel the clever] [Ninja-Lad] [whizkid] [Fruan] [iain] [RimRod] [naked_ape] [robwicks] [Protector of Mankind] [ximenez] [kaatunut] [ccunning] [chinoodle] [Bill Dauterive] [Sudderth] [lydi-kitty] [evan927] [srkorn] [Hermetic] [brainwave] [moongirl] [spaceman_spiff] [no comply] [amoebius] [SU3Color] [AgentNgo] [Tannor] [j-dog] [Noether] [FelonyMPulse] [ansomatica] [merzy] [h3rr_fu] [Candice] [pziemba] [ngui] [WiredRat] [Vacinden] [Merlin83]

    JeffMagnus node count: 3835 (9 new since July 10, 2000)
    JeffMagnus experience: 7166 (162 more since July 10, 2000)
    JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 1.869 XP per node
    JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.635%
    JeffMagnus node of the day: Everything 2 Civil War

    << week | July 10, 2000 | July 11, 2000 | July 12, 2000 | week >>

    Everything's Best Users Snapshot

    
       #   Users                   XP   wa7   inc Level   l_XP l_wa7
        
       1   Pseudo_Intellectual  18284   148   158    11  18126   146
       2   DMan                 16745   176   162     9  16583   178
       3   dem bones            14955   153   173    11  14782   150
       4   Segnbora-t           11876   103   111    10  11765   102
       5   Saige                11637    89   114    10  11523    85
       6   pukesick              9423    12    19    10   9404    11
       7   sensei                9145   118    93     7   9052   122
       8   dannye                9046   113   121     9   8925   112
       9   tregoweth             8714   110    34    10   8680   123
      10   Deborah909            8406    45    45    10   8361    45
      11   N-Wing                7893    19     6     9   7887    21
      12 * ideath                7785    84   106     8   7679    80
      13 - Jet-Poop              7724    35    30     9   7694    36
      14   Lometa                7561    53    28     9   7533    57
      15 * knifegirl             7547    58    37     9   7510    62
      16 - jessicapierce         7528   -38    14    10   7514   -47
      17   /dev/joe              7412    74    75     8   7337    74
      18   yossarian             7362    39    45     9   7317    38
      19   Tem42                 7293    71    79     8   7214    70
      20   JeffMagnus            7165    35    16     9   7149    38
        
      21   pingouin              6984    25    48     9   6936    21
      22   ModernAngel           6772    29   107     9   6665    16
      23   moJoe                 6676    55    40     9   6636    58
      24   General Wesc          6634    29    12     9   6622    32
      25   hoopy_frood           6383    45   132     8   6251    31
      26   bozon                 6245    73    77     9   6168    72
      27   novalis               6007    26    11     9   5996    28
      28   Sylvar                5799    84   194     7   5605    66
      29   juliet                5585    56     0     9   5585    65
      30   Uberfetus             5358    53    57     6   5301    52
      31   alex.tan              5310    39    96     7   5214    29
      32   hamster bong          5195    77    36     6   5159    84
      33 * Templeton             5062    35    86     5   4976    26
      34 - RockLobster           5000     9     1     9   4999    10
      35 * sabre23t              4946    51    47     6   4899    52
      36 - yam                   4930    13     6     7   4924    14
      37   nine9                 4891     6     3     9   4888     7
      38   bitter_engineer       4830    41    75     7   4755    35
      39 * wharfinger            4497    61    82     6   4415    57
      40 - kessenich             4485    25    13     9   4472    27
      41 - ariels                4464    24    45     8   4419    20
      42   Sarcasmo              4394     4     3     8   4391     4
      43   knarph                4246    23    50     9   4196    19
      44   CaptainSpam           4054    18     4     9   4050    20
      45   Lord Brawl            3948    21    25     8   3923    20
      46 * themusic              3934    34    66     8   3868    29
      47 - Orange Julius         3931    30    20     7   3911    32
      48 * Dis                   3875    93    90     6   3785    93
      49 - hatless               3807    54    15     8   3792    61
      50   ailie                 3732     6     5     7   3727     6
      51   65535                 3724    16     0     5   3724    19
       *   EBU #51               3724    18     0     *   3724    21
     

    Server time: 14:29 Tue Jul 11 2000 UTC, corrected since June 29, 2000

    * = users rising up in the EBU; - = users falling down in the EBU
    l_ = last (previous) value; inc = increase in stats value
    wa7 = ((stats + (6 * l_wa7))/7) = weighted average with denominator 7

    sabre23t: Random Nodes

    sabre23t: Nodes to node

    my computer can be so stupid sometimes. you treat it so nice, do everything you're supposed to, and it still doesn't make a difference. it will quit on you in the middle of something important. computers are so illogical... so all you can do is turn the darn thing off and wait. hopefully, it will forget what an idiot it was being and start up again like normal.

    (i know a lot of humans who are like computers.)

    life is better. it's interesing how your pain can be ameliorated when you find that there's others who have experienced something like it, or you find a person who at least cares.

    so things will improve...

    i have to go out and take some pictures today for my photography class. one project involves a person...maybe i'll actually call up a friend. it's been about a week since i've talked to one of my real-life friends. or maybe i'll just use a giant stand up of obi-wan kenobi.

    hmmmmmm...

    i feel sick. not in a physical way. i just know that my problems are coming to a head.

    when i say my problems i speak specifically of my issues with eating. i'm not to the point where i eat nothing, nor have i been for well over a year. but. i hate eating with an absolute ardent fervor usually reserved for religious and political zealots. i hate excretion. i hate the whole act of consuming, digesting, and expelling solid materials.

    i start off the morning with coffee, diuretics, and herbal energy pills with ma-huang. sometimes, i also toss laxatives into the mix. after the pills are popped, i chew on gum with an appetite supressant. these are surprisingly helpful. i don't know whether it's the act of chewing without the horrible fullness that follows eating food or the actual ingredients of the gum that seem to satisfy any hunger, no matter how great. during the work day i eat nothing. the evenings after work are what make me contemplate just shooting myself in my fucked-up head. i know i stick myself in this awful cycle of starving during the day until i am consumed at night by a real need to eat. i try to satisfy it with fruit smoothies which usually do a fairly good job of filling me up without any uncomfortable fullness. sometimes though, if there is any food in the house, i feel a driving and uncontrollable urge to eat it all.

    this is why i don't keep food in the house. i haven't kept any quantity of food in my house for over a year now.

    on a good day i go to the store after work and pick up a sensible meal.

    on a bad day i go to the store so hungry that i buy everything in sight (brownie mix and associated ingredients, veggie burgers and buns, chips, grapefruit soda, baguette and cheese). when i go to the store i never go knowing that i'm going to go home and eat it all. i step in the store thinking that today is the day i'll shop like a normal person and be OKAY with the food in the house. almost 100% of the time, the food will be gone my 10pm. eaten and purged.

    on an even worse day i don't eat at all. physically and mentally i feel better. if i can make it through one day i can make it through several. i feel stronger for denying myself. i begin to enjoy the light-headedness. i begin to enjoy the hollow, concave feeling. and after a while the hunger goes away.

    "poor poor pitiful you," some of you might be saying sarcastically, "get help."

    get help?

    my mother was under psychiatric care for years. in and out of mental hospitals throughout my teens. they drugged her, locked her in isolation rooms, and ran electricity through her brain in order to try and modify her behaviours. i guess i'm not so optimistic about psychiatric care as my mother was. i don't see how any of these things are possibly helpful. i don't think my problems are like my moms. i don't need electroshock therapy (nor do i think my mother needed it). but even if i just go talk to a professional...

    graphic, but this is what i was thinking last night as my head was hanging over the toilet. would i stop if a doctor told me that one more forced vomit would kill me? probably not. i know that it is an untrue statement. then i began to think more on it. perhaps it isn't so untrue when looked at from different angles.

    1. every time i do this, one more small part of my self dies. every time i do it, i cry, whether it's an emotional or biological reaction (or a combination or the two) i don't know. but it doesn't seem to be a positive thing to me mentally or bodily.
    2. every time i do this, i contribute to the death of my body as a whole. this activity is most certainly shortening my life. it has had effects on my teeth, my hair, my skin, my throat, my stomach, and most recently, my excised gallbladder. i feel certain that it has played a large role in the onset of epilepsy in my teens, and it's continued presence in my life ever since. my bones have broken at feather-light touches.
    a head shrinker would probably tell me i'm making advances by these thoughts, but i feel compelled to rebel. seeing the logic and truth in the statement "if you do this one more time, you'll die," begins to ring of brainwashing... having my logic adjusted, having my truths altered -- i don't like it one bit. if i can be made to see that everything i believe now isn't quite true, if i can be made to see as true things which right now sound preposterous... well. it sounds like something only a weak mind would fall prey to.

    besides. i've talked to shrinks before, and it's all been hoohah. utter crap. "you puke because you want to be pregnant," (told to me at age 17). "people don't treat you differently whether you're fat or thin," (bullshit. i've been both and the difference is so startling and so universal that i lose faith in humans as a whole for their shocking shallowness. the untruth... the absolute BLATANT untruth to this statement and that someone asked me to accept it as true appalls me. do i look stupid?). it seems like so many people, in an attempt to offer comfort and help to someone like me, are simply LYING about how the world works in an attempt to correct the problems.

    so i feel stuck. i'm at a point where i feel pretty well consumed by a constant feeling of hate. it's like there's a voice in my head constantly screaming. it's like a whistle blown really loud -- high pitched and warbling. sometimes the screams are words. BARF!!! DIE!!! it's like an 8-year old girl screaming words just to see how loud she can do it and for how long.

    i am angry because there are a lot of people in the world who, given what i have expressed, would offer me encouragement today but tomorrow will share fat jokes with their friends.



    i felt compelled to write out my little tirade upon seeing the phrase "the rotten stench of bulimia" in a writeup in The Bad Roommate Node. interestingly there is a softlink directly above where i type this write-up: Smells of Everythingians. how apropos. the smell of this everythingian is the rotten stench of bulimia.


    just eat normally

    what's normal? i have no idea anymore. though illogical, a salad feels like a huge meal and leaves me bloated.

    just stop puking

    just stop biting your nails. just stop smoking. just stop injecting yourself with heroin. just stop cursing. just stop doing anything and everything detrimental to you. cold turkey. it's not that easy.

    just don't worry about what other people think

    you are not so much who you are as who you are percieved to be by your peers. hitler probably thought he was a pretty good and noble person. does that matter considering that the rest of the world considers him to be an almost unequaled evil?
    Spent the day in the server room, fidgeting with the new Sun box. Enough trouble to be interesting, without infuriating me too much. Neat to be back on my old turf, far away from AIX and company.

    The apartment-buying plans are going nowhere at the moment, I'm quite busy at work and haven't had the time to investigate my options regarding a bank loan. We are currently looking for four bedrooms, preferably with a small room for the server (Yes, we are talking a geek enclave!) and a large living room, with space for 4+ workstations as well as sofas, telly and so on.

    I gave the network setup in the new apartment some thought. We will be needing IP masquerading since the broadband provider probably won't give us more than one IP number, and the limited bandwidth (We're geeks, remember? We eat bandwidth like popcorn.) requires that we set up some proxy/cache. Centralised storage, preferably using Samba would also be nice, to alleviate redundancy on the workstations. Some database engines will definitely come in handy as well, for ad-hoc programming sprees. DNS, definitely. Disc cabinet in a 19" rack, for functionality and fetishism.

    I woke up at 6 am, showered, ate breakfast while listening to Radiohead, and got to the office by 7 for the meeting.
    Since then, I've been spending my time trying to break our test servers... we are planning an upgrade to our secret software so we need to make sure that they'll be okay when we put in that fateful disc.
    I continued the perfection of my chop stick skillz by stacking a bunch of push pins up on top of each other. I need to be in top form so that I can impress the family of my Chinese flirting partner when we go to dim sum this weekend.
    And yes, I'll eat the chicken feet if they do.
    I also poked my head back onto Everything for the first time in a few weeks. Hi everybody, I hope that things are going well. I am doing excellent, although I am starting to become sad that I will have to go back to school after this fantastic internship.

    The Pope denounces Gay Pride

    Last Sunday (July 9, 2000), from his balcony , the Pope bitterly denounced Rome's international gay-pride festival as offensive to Christians. The event's parade, which the Pope tried to get canceled, capped a week of activities that included tens of thousands of gays and lesbians from around the world. Organizers said they chose Rome for the festival to make a statement and try to start a dialogue with the church.

    But the Pope chose not to engage in such a discussion. He took a firm stand against the lesbians and gay lifestyle in his weekly address to the faithful, saying, "Homosexual acts are against nature's laws. The church cannot silence the truth, because this ... would not help discern what is good from what is evil.'' However, in the same speech, the Pope added that homosexuals should not be treated as victims of discrimination. Gays, he said, should be treated with, "respect, compassion, delicacy because homosexuality is a disorder."

    *Note: The Pope does not directly reflect the opinions and thoughts of this site...nor anyone with a sane mind.

    Let me tell you a story about something just like this that happened in my english class:

    My english teacher asked my class to break into groups before he assigned the next project. I did this and ended upwith the two other Anti-Christian atheists in the room. All of the other people including the teacher were Catholics. The assignment was to make a skit on something that morally bothered us. Well we decided the Pope denouncing gays would be a great topic. We Made a skit about two gays that wanted ot be married in Rome. The Pope (played by me) denonced the gays from his balcony at the vatican. It was something that we all thought the Pope was very capable of doing. (Which proved to be true from the above write up) After the presentation we were not greeted with applause but maybe three minutes of complete silence, and then a slew of people saying that the pope was not anti-gay and would never say anyhting like that. How wrong they were.
    It's very easy for a young American to accept Western society's current majority views on homosexuality as "common sense" and obvious to all but the insane. It's a little more difficult for an 80 year old Polish man who grew up inside the Church and would have to explain why he's going against thousands of years of Church teaching to embrace a segment of society that many religious people still want nothing to do with.

    For a Church which seems to take hundreds of years to change anything, I find the Pope's views more modern than one might expect. You wouldn't have seen a Pope talking like that in 1900. I still disagree with John Paul, but I'm sure there's some other issues which he and I see even more differently (such as the divinity of Jesus of Nazareth, for example).

    But I have great respect for the man and he certainly is not insane. That mind is a lot sharper than the body.

    Work has been a waste of time as usual. I’m sitting here waiting for a phone call, and none come in. So, I node. I write nodes and wait for a phone call. I also send email to my friends.

    Today I tried my inhaler for the first time. I saw my doctor on Friday, and she said that my allergy problems were fixable and I had a mild form of asthma. Today after walking up the stairs, my chest felt tighter than I’d ever felt before. I took a puff of the Proventil, and felt all tingly inside. And better. This stuff is awesome. I love Flonase too since my nose isn’t as itchy anymore. So, every day I have to take:

    A multivitamin
    A Calcium tablet (for strong bones)
    A combination vitamin C and E capsule (for healthy skin and hair)
    A capsule of St John’s Wort (for mild depression)
    A capsule of coenzyme Q-10 (for carpal tunnel syndrome)
    A capsule of Allegra (twice daily for hay fever)
    One snort of Flonase in each nostril once daily
    One birth control pill
    A puff of the inhaler (Proventil) as needed

    Right now I have the hiccups. I hate the hiccups.

    I think I drank too much caffeine today. I feel very buzzed and a little hyper. I crave constant mental stimulation.

    I wish I wouldn’t have run out of votes today since I kept seeing nodes that I wanted to vote for. So, I will continue to work towards the next level because then I will be able to ching! nodes and vote more. That makes me happy. I just don’t want to create crappy nodes. I want to put up things that people can either read and enjoy or use as a reference. Song lyrics are boring to node though.

    I hope I can buy my domain name on Friday. I will find out once I pay all my bills after my check is deposited.

    Nodes I Wrote Today That I Like A Lot:
    my first day of college
    The Bad Roommate Node
    sometimes friendships were meant to be destroyed

    CD’s I Listened To Today:
    Compilation that Jim made me that features Coil, Download, X Marks the Pedwalk (twice)
    Muslimgauze – United States of Islam
    Dead Can Dance – Into The Labyrinth (twice)
    Muslimgauze – Jaal Ab Dullah

    Listening to mellow music at work lately. I think it soothes the savage beast.

    Got the communication back up, finding that the Organization needs assistance. I will look into the matters when I return back north. There was an inquiry on the Middle East which made me discover a second connection to Egypt. This might be helpful in time.

    I think I had a brief revelation of a parallel universe, although I didn't get too enthusiastic about it. Spent some time pondering the luddites and my relation to them.

    I woke up this morning at 6:30am, absolutely certain that the day was going to be crappy. I think I was too optimistic.

    Granted, nothing catastophic happened, it was just one of those days where little annoyances kept happening one after another until I wanted to scream.

    Everyone had to evacuate my building at work because of a gas leak. For the second day in a row. Not that I minded having an hour away from my desk, but I can imagine that if it keeps happening I'll grow weary of it soon.

    One of my shoes fell apart. I've had them for a month and a half. Fortunately, the offending piece of the shoe has been removed and-surprise-the shoe's still wearable. (I had to remove the same piece from the other shoe, though, so they'd still match.) Still, that's the last time I buy a pair of shoes at Wal-mart. Extra wide my ass. (I know what you're thinking; don't even go there.)

    I'd write more about it, but fortunately, I've succeeded in pushing the bulk of the day into my subconscious.

    I don't know why I complain. My worst day now still beats the shit out of my best day six years ago. Maybe tomorrow won't be so annoying...

    This is probably one of the first daylogs I'm writing after the fact, that is, after the day is past and this new one seems less important, for some reason..

    I've thrown my sleeping habits so far off that it's going to take a great deal of effort to correct them, or even adjust them to slightly more reasonable patterns. With an earliest average dreamland entrance being around 4am, and latest being 8am, things, time, just seem to be passing too quickly. I miss a good deal of the morning, which I don't mind because I do see the sun come up the majority of the time, but I miss all the noise created by busy little human's scampering off to dronedom. I can't help but think rather than avoiding them, I probably should be joining.. it's somewhat difficult to find a job here in this little town. "Chicken Catchers" wanted, always, always.. the only job you can count on, but not one I'd ever be willing to take on.

    I curled up in a chair and watched Vh1 Storytellers tonight, solely because R.E.M. were on.. mm, so infinitely dreamy. They did a couple of my favourite songs.. "Fall On Me", "At My Most Beautiful", "Daysleeper". There is something about Michael Stipe that I simply adore beyond all else, the way he looks when he closes his eyes and sings so softly, beautifully but, always aching, always.. I like the way he talks about Andy Kaufman, just like I would.

    Always, always.. you are drifting through my thoughts and I hold you there because it makes me smile even though it might not were I to consider the implications.

    Tonight, as I watched the television and the moth finding refuge in its inviting glow, I found myself pondering why it is I don't just stop things that bother me. Just, stop them, it should be something I can do, at least from time to time, I think. I can't, though, I've realized that.. until someone stops it for me.

    I am terrible when it comes to decision making.

    So many crossroads I should be coming to, or something, right? Tsk tsk.. they are all staring at me expectantly. What, what is it?

    I forgot to remember to plan my life.

    I don't want to, though, I never will.. it will all unfold as it wants to, when it wants to, not when I decide that it should. Nothing I've ever planned turned out well, it always.. ended. Perpetual happenings, I think that's what I'll always need, the world to show me what it wants me to do, never me telling it what to give, where to bring me.

    I'd never seen R.E.M. perform "At My Most Beautiful", until tonight.. I'll not forget it for some time, hopefully it will be with me always, always..

    Finished another story tonight. I felt like getting up and running laps around the house while screaming at the top of my lungs. But my roommate was asleep, so I didn't. Tomorrow night, I start the third in this string, whatever it turns out to be. I've had no trouble recently knocking off a few hundred words a night...quite possibly because I haven't been noding nearly as much.

    This morning I took the bus to my new job for the first time. I had a copy of Vineland by Thomas Pynchon that I was going to return to the library after work. But the first building I saw upon getting off the bus was the Highlandtown branch of the library, so Vineland ended up in the slot in their door.

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