Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Jesus is like Elvis. Both were pretty cool guys, but their followers scare me."

• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• I used to like it, but it makes me sick to the stomach
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• Anybody who gets married before the age of 25 scares me a little
• It's just the three of us - you, me, and all that stuff we're so scared of
• Gonna go buy me some Jesus!
• These lions were not like normal lions.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• cool guy (user)
• Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms
• Pretty like fire
• Every time I see a dead fish that isn't, I think of you. Happiness keeps washing over me like a wave. What do I do with it all?
• eyed me like a female mantis
• does this writeup make me seem like an asshole?
• Our hearts were hard, but they were warm
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• Girls possess me but they're never mine.
• But can you still cry like a child?
• Desperate guys who 'talk' me for no apparent reason
• The Jesus freak scare
• Technically, it's unlikely you were dropkicked by Jesus
• More of The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• You walk through my walls like a ghost on tv. You penetrate me.
• 1991-96 were more fun years, but I'll likely get more accomplished in the year 2000 alone
• I feel like shit today, but I can always feel worse tomorrow
• "But offstage things were falling apart..." is a registered trademark of VH1 Behind the Music
• Driving scares the crap out of me
• The bees were cool
• Nothing fills me with dread quite like a mushroom
• Do you like me?
• I'd like to thank God for allowing me
• Look siad me Be like me
• Dead Like Me
• We shook hands and pretended like it meant nothing
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• Butterflies are passive aggressive and put their problems on the shelf, but they're beautiful
• Why I like this Joseph Lieberman guy
• So much it scares me
• This guy in the computer lab who looks like he should be a doctor
• If it were a snake, it would have bit me
• Places a local (like me) would take you to in New Orleans
• She told me I looked like a Henry, and this is how she would know me
• violence comes to me like a second nature
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• Look! That x looks like Jesus!
• My Company Likes Me
• It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• Jesus loves me, right?
• I don't like her because she won't like me
• I liked their early stuff
• Tell me what God is like, cause I'm starting to forget
• There are a million girls like me out there
• Somebody Up There Likes Me
• But an unchewed square catches in his windpipe and he crumples to the floor like someone poisoned by life
• You can play with my ex-girlfriend, but treat her like the lady that she is.
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• Crosses scare Jesus
• You're like a brother to me
• His name came up like a match on wooden me
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
• There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)
• Nobody Knows It But Me
• Jesus undoubtedly said this or something very like it
• What did Jesus look like?
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• In their Disneyland are there kids just like this?
• Me Talk Pretty One Day
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis
• Do you love me now, Daddy? Do you think I'm pretty?
• Must've Been While You Were Kissing Me
• the sky above me like a full recovery
• I'm going to love you like the undead woe their graves, crave the living.
• Like white light? Or a long low moan that turns into laughing? Or the holes in Jesus' hands?
• He brings me books like flowers
• Aw, Mom, ya know I'm not like other guys; I'm nervous and my socks are too loose
• Jesus Loves Me
• There are many like it, but this one is mine
• Thursdays were created to torture me
• Can't imagine why, but I feel like dancing
• The dead eat hope. We had none to give them, so they were pretty emaciated by the end.
• treat me like a woman
• I like this. It's pretty.
• Been Brown So Long, It Looked Like Green to Me: The Politics of Nature
• Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• Their Eyes Were Watching God
• All my friends are nonconformists. They all dress like me.
• Paintings bulging out of their frames like the freaked-out spine-damage erections of accident victims
• But I Like You
• Welcome to Canada; we're closed for the playoffs
• I note that she is pretty, but we are off into the city, my werewolf friend and I
• I like you; do you like me?
• this writeup made me hungry like DAMN so I'm chinging it!
• We were both scared of the dark
• There's someone in my head but it's not me
• Like hating water, but living in the lowlands
• It's like this train. It can't run anywhere but where its rails take it.
• Three guys whose voices are like clear glass
• What guys do while their girlfriends aren't there
• Only Jesus can judge me
• Ripped like Jesus
• Would you like to see me masticate?
• His words were like
• Don’t worry, this is only a costume that makes me look like an adult
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• Why guys care if their partner spits or swallows
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• Fuckin' Jesus told me to betray the conspiracy
• I thought paper cuts were like lightning
• My Snuffleupagus smells like CK One. This does not disturb me.
• I was raised on red pepper and blood I am so hot if you strike me I will light like a match.
• We're one, but we're not the same
• How dating pretty boys helped me come out
• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• What guys do with their penis
• Walk Like Me
• Someone takes care of me and I squirm like I'm caught in a lie
• Since his eyes were like perfect packed suitcases
• candle smoke and christmas spice leapt up their noses like cardamom cats
• I could use a muse like you to amuse me
• Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
• Me and Jesus
• Black Like Me
• I used to fly like peter pan, all the children flew when I touched their hands
• Republican Like Me
• These dead open their bodies to the living like a door
• Smells Like al-Qaqaa
• War is hell but men like it
• If Jesus were alive today
• Let me tell you what a splash of cold water feels like
• You know to me she's but a fetish
• You say you love; but with a voice
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• Telephone solicitors now call me at their own risk
• It's cooler than eating shit, but not as cool as munching pussy.
• You were always so good to me
• Jesus' blood never failed me yet
• A Doll Like Me
• I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!
• Talk to me like the rain and let me listen
• Bleed Like Me
• That's a valid point, but right now we're focusing on...
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me
• The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
• If there were more people like you, there would be less people
• If the real world were like the internet
• Greeks like their women armless
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• he touched me then, but I forgot to feel
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• You were never going to become more than this to me
• Jesus versus Elvis
• How a suicide made me wish I were Superman
• Some guy tried to buy drugs from me last night
• Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
• See? It likes me!
• Things my corporate job does to scare the hell outa me
• Flying scares the crap out of me
• Due to the Incompetence of our novice author, our heroine cahla, finds herself in the wilds of Djibouti; There is no denouement in sight, but the moonlight is pretty.
• "Excuse me, but could you drop your large backpack somewhere else, please?" A (almost) christmas nodermeet in the East End
• The stars were bright that night she left me forever
• Boy meets me, boy becomes infatuated with me, boy realizes I take up space, boy runs like hell
• I would love for you to come to me with Christmas lights around your head, late night like a ghost
• Dude, check me out. I'm like a little otter, a sexy little otter!
• Maybe I'm naive but this type of website bugs me
• These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet
• Excuse me while I kiss this guy
• Fuck me like you fucked that horse
• 1,340,666 women just like me
• I like you. Now let me tell you all my flaws.
• Things are more like they are now than they ever were before
• Loves me like a bottle
• They were looking for God but found religion instead
• So many were frozen, but you we kept warm
• clowns scare me
• Shall I scare you with the truth? Or tell the pretty lie?
• I would like for love not to kill me, please

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