First, I dreamed that the Ultimate Warrior reincarnated himself in the form of a baby with the numerals 4602 tattooed on his arm. He did this specifically to call me a chump. Fans of the film Leon may recognize this as Stan's office number.

Next, I dreamed that I was looking at a map of Salem that did not resemble the actual Salem in the slightest, but rather the state of Connecticut.* My two cousins (both under 18) showed me their new tattoos and claimed they were inked at a shop in the largest district, an extremely rundown area in the southwest corner. I visited the shop and asked for a Red Robot tattoo on my chest. The tattoo was of a red robot, but resembled the cuddly TV show version of Robotman more than the explodingdog robot. The studio also had what they claimed was the worst girl in the world for rent. She was skinny, with frizzy blonde hair and arms predictably covered in tattoos. You could take her home and let her cuss at you and stink up your bathroom for an hourly fee. I went back to the shop some time later for a simpler pi tattoo on my shoulder. At this time the worst girl in the world deal had been changed to the best girl in the world. The girl was the same person with hair straightened and dyed black.

*Salem now joins New York and Providence as cities with consistent alternate dream geography.