The other day someone said something that sent me back in
time for a while. I don't like thinking about the past and the person I
used to be, still am in some ways, however I relived some good times I
had forgotten about which helped remind me of the days when we
celebrated different events and talked about how boring your job was.
I read something the other day that really made me think about what I'm
doing and where I'm going. I found a list of the ten hottest foods from
2011. As you know I like lists. I was driving home
from the grocery store just thinking about the perceived randomness of
life and how environment and others in it can influence a person. Which
leads me back to you. If I was an influential person in your life,
you're still influencing me and I'm sorry that I haven't been able to
completely overcome things that you suggested may be standing between me
and goal achievement.
Whenever I think I'm doing something different I can go back and find
patterns I am repeating since I have an internal knot I can't seem to untie.
I think you would understand what I mean by that. Your videos and
photographs are still inspirational. When I bought my last phone I found
a cool use for the camera function. Maybe I've moved past some of my
image fears although I still have room for improvement there. There are a
lot of things I'd like to get your perspective on but I can appreciate
that you've moved on. Sometimes I think about you and the struggles you
were facing. Hopefully those old challenges are behind and you've found
new opportunities you hadn't dreamed would be in store for you back
Right now I'm contemplating some decisions that are probably not as
big as I think they are. This is just my way of saying I miss you and
thinking about you still hurts. I wonder why you didn't say goodbye if
only because you said you would. I want to tell you about what happened
last March, the tests I went through this past May and the letter I have
to deal with that's sitting on my desk. I keep looking for someone to
replace you, you've left a position open that's been impossible for me
Anyways, I hope things are going well for you. Keep smiling, you are in my mind, because that's the way I like to remember you.