I'm a systems administrator for a company who specializes in network storage devices. Its a good job: flexible hours, reasonable pay, good work environment... And then there's the bathroom.

Over the two month period I've worked here, I've learned that 5% of our engineering department jack off in the bathroom stalls. The realization suddenly hit me one day as I opened the outer door of the bathroom. Now, our bathrooms have two doors. An outer door which brings you into a little lobby area with a light in the ceiling and a mirror, and an inner door which actually leads into the shitting/pissing area... I guess the little lobby is there so you can check yourself out after you take a shit and realize how blindly ravishing you are... But, anyway.

As I opened the outer door, I heard a little moan and grunt coming from the bathroom. No matter how quiet you are in one of these stalls, the sound still bounces off all the tiles and the walls for the whole room to hear. Puzzled, I opened the inner door just in time to hear one of our overseas imports have an orgasm.

Completly not expecting to hear this, I froze and my eyes opened wide. I'm not exactly sure if he heard the door open or not, but I heard movement in one of the closed stalls as I'm sure he quickly wiped up or whatever, put himself back in his pants and flushed the toilet.

Not knowing exactly what to do, I headed towards one of the many sinks, turned one on, and proceeded to wash my clean hands. He stepped out of the stall and jumped a bit, definitely surprised there was someone else in there.

I consider myself a pretty good actor. I smiled briefly at him and continued to wash without any soap on my hands. He seemed nervous as he washed his own hands, quickly dried them, and hurried out the door. I shook my head a little, finally free to do my duty as I headed towards an empty stall.

I guess the moral of this little story is, if you're going to relieve yourself in a bathroom stall, you'd better make sure you're very quiet about it and that there's no one else in the bathroom with you, or else you could be faced with a very embarassing situation.

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