WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! GETTING CLOSER, CLOSER TO OUR SOUL-HERO IN HIS SOUL-MOBILE! YEAH, BABY!Title:
Two-Minute WarningRelease Date:
February 2002Writer: Joe KellyPenciller: Doug MahnkeInker: Tom NguyenJLA Members: Superman
, Wonder Woman
, the Martian Manhunter
, Green Lantern
, the Flash
, and Plastic Man
.Guest Stars: Lois Lane
.Bad Guys: Abra Kadabra
, the Titan
s of Greek myth, and some ugly little slug
.Cameos: Linda Park
.So what happens?
We've got a new creative team
on this book, and it's aaaaaall gooood.
Well, the plotting is
a bit freaky, but I'll forgive a lot for dialogue this juicy. The gimmick
is that we're jumping back and forth between the crisis
at hand and what the rest of the League was doing just before they learned of the crisis, so there are some problems with keeping track of what's going on at any one time. But here's basically what happens: Superman and Martian Manhunter are trying to rescue some ships caught in freak storms and tidal wave
s. They're able to get the sailors out, but the giant waves are still headed for the East Coast. Desperate measures are called for, so Green Lantern lifts Manhattan
, saving NYC
and creating a dropfall
to catch the wave and throw it back on itself--essentially cancelling it out.
But what caused the monster waves? Two giant monster
s fighting in the middle of the ocean
! Well, as Wonder Woman explains, they're actually the ancient Titans of Greek myth, who helped create the Earth and are to re-emerge to help end it. What brought 'em out early? Batman deduces a hidden area that's been knocked out of synch
with our current spacetime
--he suspects that it's artificial
and has Flash ride a magnetic pulse missile
over there to resynch it so they can see what's up.
As it turns out, it's an island
, crammed full of mythological horror
s and lorded over by futuristic
pseudo-magician Abra Kadabra, who is controlling the monsters with a gigantic machine. But really, a stunt like this is beyond Kadabra's abilities and completely counter to his usual motive
s. Suspecting that someone else is controlling Kadabra, the League calls in Plastic Man, who stretches his arm into Kadabra's nose and goes rooting around in his brain
'til he pulls out some kind of grody
brainslug. The monsters retreat back to the lands of myth, but the JLA worries that the slug wasn't alone...Cool Moments!
There's tons this issue. First, this issue perfectly plays both to writer Joe Kelly's talent for writing funny
, snappy dialogue
and to artist Doug Mahnke's love of drawing monster
s. More specific Cool Moments include: Martian Manhunter literally curled into a ball
as he dozes in his book
-crammed room in the JLA Watchtower; J'onn's exceedingly-nonhuman
shapeshifting; Clark and Lois' romantic
getaway in Japan; Green Lantern, hard up for cash, getting snub
bed by a snotty coffeehaus clerk; GL scooping up New York City
in a giant ring-generated crane; Batman doing detective
handling Wayne Corporation business
over a speakerphone while simultaneously sparring in the Watchtower with Wonder Woman; Plastic Man--gawd, I can't tell for sure--possibly talking business with Satan
by phone?!? They better not be looking for some way to dump my pal Plas!!!Cool Quotes!
Like I said before, there's a lot of great dialogue in this issue, not all of it really quotable, since it's part of larger conversation
s, but let's see what we can dig up...
Lois Lane, after Clark's JLA alarm goes off in the midst of a liplock
: "Hurry up and save the world, Superman... I'd hate for your wife to get cold
Green Lantern, talking to his power ring after saving New York: "So good...Soooo good. You would think 'Replace the Verrazano Bridge
brick by brick' might be a tough command-- but not for you! Noo... Who's your daddy?
Batman to Wonder Woman, after the JLA alarm interrupts their combat exercise: "Beeper
of the Gods. No offense."
Wonder Woman: "None taken...Oh, 'fragile mortal
Flash, as Batman starts to explain a plan to him: "You're touching me. Batman is touch
ing me. I'm going to die, aren't I?"
Plastic Man, rooting around in Abra Kadabra's head: "You know, while I'm in here, I could do something about your deviated septum
! Not to mention your dialogue! Sheesh... You're getting too much bad Indian cinema
, I think."Back | Index | Forward