WARNING! SO MANY SPOILERS, YOU'LL PLOTZ! I'M SERIOUS!


Title: Rock of Ages, Part II: Hostile Takeover
Release Date: October 1997
Writer: Grant Morrison
Penciller: Howard Porter
Inker: John Dell
JLA Members: Superman, Batman, the Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, the Martian Manhunter, Green Arrow, and Aztek.
Guest Stars: Metron, Plastic Man, and Robin.
Bad Guys: The Injustice Gang (Lex Luthor, the Joker, Dr. Light, Ocean Master, Mirror Master, Circe, and Jemm, Son of Saturn).

So what happens?
The "Rock of Ages" saga starts getting confusing here, kids. Hold on tight...

The Injustice Gang continues their plotting against the Justice League. They hack into a government teleporter facility and transport a bunch of air into a hard-light holographic copy of their own satellite, which Superman and the Martian Manhunter go to investigate. Once they're aboard the fake satellite, the Joker takes control of the holographic design, turning it into an impossibly complex maze. In order to navigate their way through the maze, the Martian Manhunter uses his shapeshifting abilities to enlarge the irrational right hemisphere of his brain and shrink the logical left hemisphere to approximate the Joker's madness. After that, J'onn, grinning insanely, can easily see the direct way to the end of the maze--but once there, a hidden bomb blows the fake satellite to pieces...

At the same time, the villains also teleport a bunch of water onto a town in the San Fernando Valley, and Green Lantern and Green Arrow rush down to get the flood under control. They accomplish that task easily, then while taking a short break in a coffee shop, Circe, in disguise, joins them and tries to plant doubts in their minds about the JLA. Green Lantern gets suspicious and leaves, but Green Arrow decides to stay and talk to Circe a while longer...

And at about the same time, Flash, Aquaman, and Aztek are surprised by the sudden appearance inside the JLA Watchtower of Metron, one of the New Gods, who babbles about finding the "Philosopher's Stone" to save all time and space. Man alive, everyone's gettin' split up here...

Other stuff: Lex Luthor's little heart-shaped quartz introduced last issue appears to be capable of doing anything its wielder can imagine--if that ain't the Philosopher's Stone that Metron describes, I don't know what is; Batman, in his occasional "Matches Malone" disguise, goes out seeking the assistance of a guy named Eel O'Brien (aka Plastic Man); back at the Batcave, Batman realizes that the JLA actually have a significant advantage in the Injustice Gang's attempted hostile takeover of the Justice League: namely, Bruce Wayne is a pretty damn good corporate raider himself...

Like I said, pretty damn confusing.

Cool Quotes!
Lex Luthor, berating the Joker for sabotaging a memorial service for some children killed in the attack on Star City: "Dead children don't seem funny to me, Joker. Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned. Regrettable casualties of our campaign but not funny..."

Aquaman, on how he learned about part of the Injustice Gang's plot: "I got the story from some tuna. They perform fascinating psycho-electric field displays...I know how that sounds but trust me..."

Batman: "Luthor still has no idea he's dealing with someone who's as familiar with corporate takeover techniques as he is. Someone who plays the game much better than he does...Bruce Wayne. Let's take him out."

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