we've been here before.

we've *been* here before, love. and we keep ending *up* here because we keep fucking up. i don't know how many times we've done this wrong.

but i think... i honestly believe we may have done it right this time.

of course we thought we did it right each time, and found out later it was wrong. but this time we're together again after too long, we're in a place we can make the moves we need. i'm fairly sure this time may be the last we have to play this particular game.

    of course life will find us a new game to play after this, but... i think we won this one, this time.

we keep dancing this odd dance with society, about us. we keep running into "you cant!" or "you shouldnt!" or "NO you are forbidden". and we usually choose to ignore what we are told. but *how* we ignore, varies wildly. it's different each time of course, as we search for one way that will actually work.

once, we eloped, moved to the next town, and moved in. never married. there was much scandal, both our old town and the new, and soiling of our family names. much unpleasantness swirled around involving us, but we were oblivious in our need to be togehter.

once we did as we were "supposed" to, after meeting initial wariness from family. they said "wait". we did for a good time. i died within a year, too early, in flames.

there have been other times, too. at least three or four. i do not remember them yet, not well enough to recount. but they were there too. and they were wrong as well. because we're doing it again now.

we're doing it again. we started the gears in action march 11. and they're going to keep grinding and crunching foreward now, as we set them in motion. and they'll keep going onward and resolve this for once and for all.

or they won't. there's no way to tell for absolute certain. but i believe as much as i believe anything... that this time... we got it RIGHT.

my own personal time capsule of lives

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